'OC87': Filmmaker shares his struggle with disorders

"This is not a film about hand washing," says Bud Clayman at the start of "OC87," adding, "It's a film about the fear of acting on thoughts."

Clayman has obsessive-compulsive disorder — specifically "harm O.C.D.," which involves intense anger and violent imaginings — and Asperger's syndrome, which inhibits the grasp of social cues. This moving, penetrating documentary records his attempt to describe his conditions, confront them and learn to manage them.

Clayman — who experienced depression in high school — studied radio, film and video production at Temple University in Philadelphia and then moved to Los Angeles after graduation, only to suffer a breakdown. (The title comes from 1987, when he had his darkest hour, a withdrawal from human interaction.) For eight years he lived at Project Transition, a therapeutic community in Pennsylvania, to receive treatment.

In "OC87," we get vivid, subjective glimpses into his mindset, feeling his unease as he walks down a street, his struggle in a diner to gauge the proper length of time for, say, glancing at someone.

Clayman is persistent in reaching for self- improvement. And there is change: His squalid apartment is made over; he speed-dates. He also laughs, interacts, expresses gratitude and tries hard to listen closely to others. His problems often seem like agonizingly exaggerated versions of everyone's. We can learn from his solutions.

By Andy Webster The New York Times

By Andy Webster
The New York Times