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Friday, August 10, 2012 - Page updated at 07:00 p.m.

Sideline Chatter
Up next: Monster trucks at Home and Garden Show

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

Why go for the gold when you can mow for the green?

That's green as in $350 — the first-place prize money when the Goodhue County Fair in Zumbrota, Minn., staged its first Lawn Mower Demolition Derby on Tuesday.

Headline

At TheOnion.com: "Terrell Owens impresses Seahawks during verbal portion of tryout."

Lots of Bob

"I wouldn't say one man seems to be dominating Summer Olympics coverage," wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, "but NBC now stands for Nothing But Costas."

Name game

Two cheetah cubs at the National Zoo in Washington have been named Carmelita and Justin — in honor of the fastest Americans in the 100-meter dash at the Olympics.

Any baby possums, we assume, are destined to get badminton names.

Olympic insider

"The word 'equestrian' comes from two Greek words," reported syndicated columnist Dave Barry. " 'Eques,' meaning 'horses,' and 'trian,' meaning 'being ridden by people with large inheritances and names like Edwina Ponce-Twickendale.' "

Quote marks

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, suggesting some poetic justice if taxpayers have to foot the bill for a new playpen for Home Depot poobah Arthur Blank and his Atlanta Falcons: "All of the tools and materials needed to build the stadium will be purchased at Lowe's."

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the inequities of Olympic equestrian: "The top rider and trainer share a gold medal. The horse gets an apple."

• TNT's Conan O'Brien, after a German diver slipped off the board and landed flat on his back, earning one 0.0 score: "He tried to save face halfway through the dive. He yelled 'cannonball.' "

Penalty on the play

And in police-blotter news, five high-schoolers attending a football camp at Sacramento State have been kicked off their team and face possible criminal charges, Brentwood police Sgt. Tim Herbert told the Contra Costa (Calif.) Times, for using Icy Hot "in a manner that was not appropriate."

Next: sunrise in west?

A self-proclaimed new model of receiver Terrell Owens told reporters after his first Seahawks practice that "It's more about doing than talking about it."

Well, the Nationals boast the best record in baseball, so anything's possible.

He creamed that one

The Mars rover already is dispatching photos from the red planet.

Most peculiar find thus far: one of Barry Bonds' Balco-fueled home-run balls.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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