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Wednesday, August 1, 2012 - Page updated at 08:00 p.m.
A bald statement indeed | Sideline Chatter
By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times
Take me out to the bald game!
Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman, who vowed to shave his head if the Reds won 10 games in a row, will pay up with his white locks this Friday in the team's clubhouse.
"You probably will need wire cutters," pitcher Homer Bailey told The Cincinnati Enquirer. "I'm not qualified to use heavy machinery. He can still talk bad about us on the radio, but now he can do it bald."
Captain Kirk — OK, actor William Shatner — will throw out the ceremonial first pitch Friday as part of the Dodgers' inaugural Star Trek Night.
Though most trekkies were hoping to see Mr. Spock unleash his Vulcan forkball.
The end is near
Dale Earnhardt Jr. leads the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. The Pittsburgh Pirates sit atop the NL Central.
This is all covered, we assume, in the Book of Revelation.
"If Disney were to sponsor IndyCar driver Dario Franchitti," wondered RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, "would his accidents be called Franchitti-Chitti-Bang-Bangs?"
Dateline State College, Pa.: Penn State officials appeal NCAA penalties, saying, "Can't you just have Tony Robbins walk us across some hot coals instead?"
Hold your fire
For the first time this century, according to Shane Tourtellotte of HardballTimes.com, nary a major-league manager was fired through the first 100 games.
Somewhere, you have to figure, George Steinbrenner is squirming in his straitjacket.
Talking the talk
• Blogger Chad Picasner, on postrace tests disclosing no hint of illegal drug use by 16-year-old Chinese swim star Ye Shiwen: "Other than the fact that Olympic officials have waited for two hours to question her, but she still hasn't come up for air."
• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Joe Paterno's family saying it will launch its own investigation into the Jerry Sandusky scandal: "Yeah, and I hear Nixon's kids are going to take another look at Watergate."
• Wisconsin football coach Bret Bielema, to the Detroit Free Press, when asked whether his new wedding ring or his Big Ten championship ring feels most comfortable: "It depends on who's asking."
Hooker by crook
Three SMU football players say a prostitute they solicited exacted revenge for non-payment by stealing $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games from them, Dallas' KTXA-TV reported.
Which certainly gives a whole new meaning to the sports term "taking it to the house."
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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