Slow-pitch softball national team may need some performance-reducing drugs

"Just a long out"? No kidding.

Two hitters for the USA Slow Pitch National Team were called out for hitting fair balls over the fence — in violation of the 10-homer team limit — in a 38-37 loss to the USA Futures in the Slow Pitch Showdown in Oklahoma City.

Wethinks Mariners pitcher Hector Noesi — who's yielded 19 dingers in just 91-2/3 innings — might be in favor of such a rule.

Grab a big plate

In honor of Italy's team staying in Krakow, Poland during the Euro 2012 tournament, a local restaurant baked a record 4.8-ton lasagna that served 10,000.

Guinness declared it a world record. Tony Siragusa calls it lunch.

Second thoughts

The world's timekeepers added an extra second to the year 2012 last week, but it's not unprecedented.

Olympic basketball referees did it — about three times — in the 1972 gold-medal game.

Hot metal

The Orioles unveiled a 7-foot statue of fiery Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver outside Camden Yards on Saturday.

Umpires immediately donated $100,000 to the Chesapeake Pigeon Preservation Society.

Loadin' up the truck

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has established a set of guidelines for any NFL owner dreaming of striking it rich and moving to Los Angeles.

They're calling it the Jed Clampett Doctrine.

Nixed doubles

Prince Charles attended a Wimbledon tennis match this year for the first time since 1970.

The unfortunate bloke who had to sit behind those ears didn't see a thing.

It's a ratings flop

UEFA — European soccer's governing body — is under fire for splicing prerecorded scenes into a live telecast, such as a fan crying during the national anthem being shown right after a goal was scored against his team.

What a shock — someone associated with soccer getting accused of faking it.

Talking the talk

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the 7-59 Charlotte Bobcats' needs in last week's NBA draft: "Unfortunately, a high-scoring, shot-blocking, playmaking, defense-oriented player who can also sell tickets was unavailable."

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the Florida Panthers drafting five 18-year-olds: "Hockey's trainers are the only ones in sports whose supplies include acne medicine."

• Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, sizing up his team's pitching this season: "Our bullpen has been fine. Getting to that bullpen has been a little trouble."

• Jim Caple of ESPN.com, after the Brewers' 24th-seeded ballpark somehow won the online vote in the Battle of the Ballparks Bracket: "Miller Park's victory is an upset, but it is hardly the equivalent of Adam Sandler winning an Oscar."

Just wondering

How come the list of NBA players with "Early Bird Rights" never included The Worm?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

By Dwight Perry The Seattle Times

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times