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Friday, August 5, 2011 - Page updated at 06:00 p.m.
Hair today, gone tomorrow for mullet man
By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times
Looks like Dwayne Schintzius picked the wrong day to get snippy with the boss.
The former NBA center blames his lobster mullet — or rather, the way he reacted to the GM's edict to lose the hairstyle — for the San Antonio Spurs trading him away in 1991.
"He told me to cut it," Schintzius told TampaBayOnline.com. "So I got it cut and sent him the shavings in an envelope. I'm not sure he appreciated that.
"And then, away I went."
Yankees or Cards?
When Alex Rodriguez said he was hungry for a World Series ring this year, did he mean baseball or poker?
• At SportsPickle.com: "Jay Cutler breaks up with his center after bad snap."
• At SportsPickle.com: "White Sox throw at Adam Dunn's head during batting practice."
Stuffing the run
A man jumped the White House fence Tuesday but was quickly tackled.
D.C. oddsmakers immediately installed the Secret Service as 7 ½-point favorites over the Redskins. <252>
"Cowboys & Aliens" is a movie whose plot revolves around:
a) Spaceships invading a tiny Arizona town in 1873.
b) Tom Landry trying to communicate with Hollywood Henderson.
Hockey Lingo 101
Fore-checking: When a Toronto Maple Leaf asks when the first playoff tee time is.
Silver & old
The Oakland Raiders have a 37-year-old cheerleader who's already a grandmother.
A Raiders granny? Hey, don't laugh — Al Davis doesn't look a day over 107.
Nonsense and sensibility
"Let me get this straight," wrote Len Berman of ThatsSports.com. "NBA owners locked out the players, and now the owners have filed an unfair-labor-practices suit against the players. Got it."
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Ford recalling 1.1 million pickups because of faulty gas tanks: "Picture 1.1 million pickups — it looks like the parking lot at a Texas Tech home game."
• Idaho Potato Commission executive Frank Muir, to AP, on why jokes about the newly-named Famous Idaho Potato Bowl don't faze him: "You have to have a tough skin to be in the potato business."
• Times reader Charlie Gay, after his son offered to show him his new A-Rod card: "He handed me the ace of spades."
Thumb like it hot
According to a Wall Street Journal baseball investigation, there are 5.8 ejections per 100 games when temperatures fall below 50 degrees, and nearly twice that — 11.4 — when the mercury climbs above 90.
In other words: Chill the umpire!
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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