I have been on this particular diet for more than 15 years and I think the problem is my approach to losing weight. I believe that I can have a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich at midnight and not gain any weight as long as the Truly Unpleasant Mrs. Johnston doesn't walk into the kitchen and say something crazy like: "I thought you were on a diet!"

It's getting caught, and trying to deny that I am eating a sandwich that is in my hand and heading for my mouth, that puts the weight on me. If you aren't caught, all those calories are never alerted that they should head straight for the part of your body that makes it hard to button your pants. They pass through without incident and you can go to bed with a clear conscience.

The holidays make my diet both easy to follow and easy to accidentally fall off late at night after Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We invite my family to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. If this moving stomach from Everett doesn't eat everything in sight, there is usually some turkey left over for midnight snacks for me.

Sometimes Mrs. Johnston tries to cut back on my late-night snacks by offering my brothers leftover turkey to take home. The trick is to slip into the kitchen and put the plate full of carved turkey into the refrigerator (carefully covered with aluminum foil so she can't see it). This way, Mrs. Johnston may forget all about the leftovers.

Later in the evening, when I think Mrs. Johnston is sound asleep and dreaming of ways to do me in, I can sneak into the kitchen and have a turkey sandwich with a little mayo and lettuce. That's what the holidays are all about.

A few years after we were married, Mrs. Johnston noticed that I was putting on weight. I told her I had wanted to show my support for her when she was pregnant by gaining sympathy weight.

Instead of being grateful for my sensitivity, Mrs. Johnston pointed out that she managed to lose her extra weight after the child was born.

I almost said, "Well, it was easy for you to lose weight. I would have to stop eating peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches!"

Fortunately, my husband-survival circuit kicked in and prevented my mouth from flapping open. Later I just told Mrs. Johnston that I would try to lose 20 pounds.

Unfortunately, the survival circuit doesn't keep my mouth from flapping open when it comes to sandwiches, peanut-butter or turkey, and instead of losing the "sympathy weight," I have kept it hanging around me.

I plan to lose it as soon as the turkey is gone . . . and the kids have moved out of the house.

Steve Johnston is a Seattle Times staff reporter.