Why Allen is casting away that little 303-foot yacht

At first glance, you might misread it as yet another sign of troubled economic times:

Uncle Paul Allen, admiral of his own luxury-cruiser navy, reportedly is downsizing by putting his smaller commuter yacht, the 303-foot Tatoosh, up for sale.

Asking price: around $172 million — although creative trades for medium islands or small nation-states will be considered.

Truth be told, the shedding of Tatoosh has nothing to do with the recession, which doesn't touch people like Uncle Paul. Our Mercer Island sources coughed up several real reasons for the sale:

• Last hook on 250-slot luxury-vehicle key rack near the back door of the manse was taken by the SpaceShipOne rocket plane. Something had to go.

• It was the "small boat to be named later" in compensation package for Seahawks coach Pete Carroll.

• Couldn't get the home-entertainment center from Tatoosh to share playlists from the other yacht, 416-foot Octopus, because of infuriating networking glitch in #@$! Windows Media Player.

• Cheaper to trade it in than update the gauche, 1990s-vintage helipads to current style standards.

• Takes 100 times more fuel and two weeks longer to get to the Cannes Film Festival than the 757.

• New Korean-made replacement yacht will come with a 100,000-nautical-mile stem-to-stern warranty.

• Face it: He still gets immense personal satisfaction from casually shedding a toy Oracle's Larry Ellison is still scrambling to match.

• Screw the Caribbean: He's off to outer space.

More deck swabbing:

One More On That: A suggestion if no buyer immediately comes forth: Six-month lease to Bill Gates Sr., who could tie the monument to excess up along the waterfront and fit it with a "TAX THIS: YES ON INITIATIVE 1077" banner:

Sadly, They Ran Out Of Names After Fatman And Little Boy: The United States, birthplace of the myth of open records, finally fessed up that it has 5,113 nuclear warheads in its stockpile and "several thousand" more awaiting the scrap heap. Thank God. It was beginning to feel like we only had enough to destroy the planet 200 times over.

Glory Days, They Pass You By: The Pentagon, meanwhile, admitted that the current nuclear stockpile represents a 75 percent reduction since 1989. And those troublemakers in Greece think they've been subjected to harsh austerity measures.

Keeping It In His Genes: DNA evidence proves once and for all that prehistoric humans and Neanderthals interbred 50,000 to 80,000 years ago. Scientists said the discovery solves many long-standing human behavioral quandaries, including the ongoing conduct of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

Searching For A New Lead Poodle: A fractured result in Britain's elections left citizens wondering whether anyone was in charge of the government. Those Brits will do anything to be like us.

Enough Is Enough Department: The North Cascades Highway closed Friday for avalanche control. Uh, hello. We love snow as much as anyone. But IT'S MAY.

And Finally: North Star Fine Coffees is said to be ready to announce a new Seattle Sounders-branded blend. We can't vouch for the taste, but word is that a recent head-to-head taste-off with Starbucks House Blend ended in a nil-nil tie.

A section and Thursday's Sports section. E-mail: rjudd@seattletimes.com