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Originally published June 27, 2013 at 7:12 PM | Page modified July 1, 2013 at 10:43 AM

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This guy’s more slimy than the fish he caught | Sideline Chatter

Alfred Mead was recently sentenced to a week in jail for trying to sneak two live northern pike into a fishing contest.

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This fish story was just a little too fishy.

Alfred Mead was recently sentenced to a week in jail and banned from ice fishing contests for four years for trying to sneak two live northern pike he’d caught on another lake into a competition.

“In other words, he was caught hook, line and sinker,” said Hartley Miller, sports director at 94x FM in Prince George, B.C.

Dumb like a fox

Former Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw is performing a solo 70-minute stage show this weekend in Las Vegas, featuring comedy routines, storytelling and some singing.

The title of the show: “America’s Favorite Dumb Blonde ... A Life in Four Quarters.”

What else would you expect from a player that foe Thomas Henderson once said couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the A.

Don’t blink

What’s called the greatest two minutes in sports?

a) The Kentucky Derby

b) The NBA’s offseason

... And the worst two minutes?

a) a Bill Belichick news conference

b) a Tiger Woods news conference

c) Both

Not a Wiz kid

Former NBA star Gilbert Arenas was arrested in Los Angeles for carrying a truckload of illegal fireworks. Well, he always was an explosive player.

Feeling tired?

If you felt like catching a few Z’s while watching the Mariners and Pirates on Wednesday afternoon, it’s no wonder.

As reader Lyle Murphy pointed out, six players in that game had last names that ended with a Z: Alvarez, Chavez, Gomez, Hernandez, Ibanez and Sanchez.

This Yankee didn’t win

Based on his home run call, John Sterling, the Yankees radio broadcaster, would know just how to describe Alex Rodriguez’s latest issues with the team: “Another A-bomb from A-Rod.”

They said it

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com on the Stanley Cup Finals: “Rough game six in Boston. Bruins pulled off a collapse so fast and awful you figured Bill Buckner had to be involved.”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray on Wimbledon: “The British royal family always clears their calendar for this event. Move my ‘nothing to do’ until next Tuesday.”

Bunkered

It occurred to me while I was helplessly flailing away recently that sand traps are the (healthy) Franklin Gutierrez of my golf game.

“Death to Flying Objects.”

Scott Hanson: 206-464-2943 or shanson@seattletimes.com

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