She could be a perfect match for Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones
The Seattle Times
Chicago Police say they’ve arrested the same woman 396 times since 1978.
Shermain Miles, in her latest court appearance, pleaded guilty to attacking a city alderman, trespassing, public drinking and unlawfully impersonating a Cincinnati Bengal.
• At Fark.com: “Alabama fan who poisoned Auburn oak trees free to take up roots in Louisiana.”
• At CBSsports.com: “Ocho clinko.”
Let’s spend two
Police in Chicago arrested a man and a woman for allegedly using counterfeit bills to purchase items at Wrigley Field concessions stands.
Incredulous investigators say they’d never seen Ernie Banks’ likeness on a $20 bill before.
Stat of the Week
From RJ Bell of Pregame.com: “Among the last 25 Heisman winners, only one quarterback has won an NFL playoff game: Tim Tebow.”
Bag limit: one
Forget cats stuck in a tree. A Monroe County (Fla.) sheriff’s deputy had to remove a Doritos bag that got stuck over a deer’s head.
Wildlife agents suspect it must’ve gotten the munchies after a whiff of deer-antler spray.
Want to get away?
“That block. Did you see it?” wrote SI.com’s Michael Rosenberg of LeBron James’ highlight-reel rejection in Game 2. “San Antonio’s Tiago Splitter went up for a dunk, and by the time he landed, he knew he would have to grow a beard, change his name and move to a country without YouTube.”
• Buster Olney of ESPN.com, on the NL’s hottest team: “Pitching to the St. Louis Cardinals is like standing on a hill of fire ants. You might get one or two of them, but the rest will keep coming, and they will get you.”
• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, on Belmont Stakes winner Palace Malice being named for a 1949 Three Stooges comedy short: “I guess it’s a better name than ‘Nyuk Nyuk.’ ”
• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on Ohio State president Gordon Gee’s retirement plans: “Trade his bow ties for tattoos.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Mike Tyson danced with host Neil Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards: “That sounds like something I’d dream if I ate right before bedtime.”
Pardon his French
Rafael Nadal captured a record eighth French Open title — then slipped from fourth to fifth in the world rankings.
Bet that’s the last time they let Florida tally up the points.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250