Give that priest a yellow card!

St. Oswald's, a 13th-century church in Seefeld, Austria, is refusing to delay its traditional 7 a.m. bell-ringing despite complaints from Manchester City that it's disturbing the players' beauty sleep during training camp there.

The chimes will continue on schedule, priest Egon Pfeifer told The Associated Press, "even if the queen of England wants them to stop."

Not-movin' on up

TomTom navigation service is out with its latest index of cities with the worst traffic, and Seattle has jumped eight places in the rankings — from 12th to fourth.

So see, Mariners fans, it can be done.

Headlines

• At Fark.com: "NCAA so mad at Penn State that they just suspended Caltech from postseason competition for a year in track and field, cross country, swimming, baseball, fencing, soccer, water polo, men's basketball and tennis."

• At TheOnion.com: "30-team NBA trade leaves just four teams with all the players."

Splitsville

"It took Katie Holmes only 11 days to get a divorce from Tom Cruise," noted Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel. "Maybe Dwight (Howard) and the Magic should go see her lawyer."

Big uneasy

The Saints and star quarterback Drew Brees, before finally settling on a new contract, were $10 million apart over guaranteed money.

Or, as it's known in football circles, separation in the passing game.

Slowboating

The yacht Groupama, in case you missed it, won the Volvo Ocean Race.

"I don't wanna say that race seemed to go on forever," wrote Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, "but when it began, one of the early leaders was the Mayflower."

Talking the talk

• Blogger TC Chong, after the NL's five-run first took any suspense out of the All-Star Game: "It was so boring that by the seventh-inning stretch I had taught myself to play 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' on my vuvuzela."

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after the Braves' Larry Jones gave an impassioned pregame talk before his final All-Star Game: "Win one for the Chipper."

• From TheOnion.com, on having no Americans in contention to win the Tour de France: "And they say you never forget how."

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, to the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the best way to honor the passing of Norman Sas, the inventor of electric football: "Put on a football helmet and spin around in circles."

Breaking the ice

L.A. Kings center Jarret Stoll has been seen out and about with Wayne Gretzky's daughter, Paulina, but consider him warned.

You make dad mad, you make Marty McSorley mad.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com