Skip to main content
Advertising

Originally published July 19, 2014 at 5:05 PM | Page modified July 22, 2014 at 12:44 PM

  • Share:
           
  • Comments
  • Print

Corrected version

One question: Who would commit such a beastly act?


The Seattle Times

advertising

Sideline Chatter

Here’s hoping Marshawn Lynch has an airtight alibi.

Three large pieces of artwork — oversized renderings of Skittles candies — have gone missing from the children’s play area at Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg.

NBA headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Report: Desperate Cavs willing to include LeBron James in a deal for Kevin Love.”

• At TheOnion.com: “LeBron James guarantees Cleveland will win numerous regular-season games.”

Feast Mode

Willi and Irene Isaak celebrated their country’s World Cup title by setting off skyrockets in their backyard in Espelkamp, Germany, igniting a roof fire that charred their home to the tune of $400,000.

Well, that’s a soccer first — an own-coal.

Forethoughts

Among the surefire signs you’re a professional golfer, from DJ Gallo of SportsPickle.com:

• “Your only shots that roll on the ground the whole way are putts.

• “Your Buick is a source of income, not personal shame.

• “None of your playing partners loudly belch in your backswing.”

Northern migration

“What if every NHL player went home like LeBron?” wondered Fark.com. “No American team would win the cup ever again.”

History prepeats itself

July 11, in case you missed it, marked the 210th anniversary of vice president Aaron Burr killing ex-Treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton in a duel in Weehawken, New Jersey.

“Burr got off scot-free,” noted CBS’s David Letterman. “Later he was convicted for stealing sports memorabilia.”

Batting .833

If the MLB season ended at the All-Star break, half of the 10-team playoff field would include five of the six West Coast clubs — the Mariners, Athletics, Giants, Dodgers and Angels.

Talko time

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, on economists saying LeBron James’ return to the Cleveland Cavaliers will inject $500 million a year into the local economy: “More importantly for James, it will inject $21 million a year into his economy.”

• Blogger TC Chong, on the Super Bowl-champion Seahawks bringing their “12th Man” tour to Vancouver, B.C.: “To their dismay, most of the locals showed up wearing No. 11 jerseys due to the exchange rate.”

• CBS’s Craig Ferguson, on the world’s oldest man, 126-year-old Brazilian Jose Aguinelo dos Santos: “The highlight of his life was playing goalie for Brazil in this year’s World Cup.”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Alouettes receiver Chad Johnson claimed he’s gotten 15 parking tickets in Montreal because he can’t read French: “Here’s a tip: A French fire hydrant looks just like an English one.”

Paging Judge Smails

Not that we’ve watched “Caddyshack” a few too many times or anything, but what is Danny Noonan doing leading the British Open?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

Information in this article, originally published July 19, 2014, was corrected July 22, 2014. A previous version of this story incorrectly stated that Aaron Burr was the former U.S. Treasury secretary and Alexander Hamilton was the vice president when Burr shot and killed Hamilton in a duel.



Want unlimited access to seattletimes.com? Subscribe now!

News where, when and how you want it

Email Icon


Advertising
The Seattle Times

The door is closed, but it's not locked.

Take a minute to subscribe and continue to enjoy The Seattle Times for as little as 99 cents a week.

Subscription options ►

Already a subscriber?

We've got good news for you. Unlimited seattletimes.com content access is included with most subscriptions.

Subscriber login ►
The Seattle Times

To keep reading, you need a subscription upgrade.

We hope you have enjoyed your complimentary access. For unlimited seattletimes.com access, please upgrade your digital subscription.

Call customer service at 1.800.542.0820 for assistance with your upgrade or questions about your subscriber status.

The Seattle Times

To keep reading, you need a subscription.

We hope you have enjoyed your complimentary access. Subscribe now for unlimited access!

Subscription options ►

Already a subscriber?

We've got good news for you. Unlimited seattletimes.com content access is included with most subscriptions.

Activate Subscriber Account ►