You could say the Red Sox’s season has had its ups and downs
Ten losses, seven wins, five losses ...
The Seattle Times
The bipolar Boston Red Sox, in a single 22-game run, lost 10 straight, won seven straight and lost five straight.
So when is Sybil Dorsett Bobblehead Night at Fenway again?
• At Fark.com: “N.Y. Knicks decide that Derek Fisher will be their next ex-coach.”
L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling changed his mind yet again — withdrawing his support for the $2 billion sale of the team to Steve Ballmer and saying he’ll proceed with a $1 billion suit against the NBA.
So what does the league cite him for this time — over-and-back, or flopping?
“If Gregg Popovich is such a great coach,” asked Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, “how come he coached Pomona-Pitzer for nine seasons and never guided the Sagehens to a Final Four?”
Destined to be the most popular cocktail in Cleveland: Johnny Highball.
Seahawks coach Pete Carroll told the L.A. Times he never would have left USC if he’d known the Trojans were about to be hit with five years of sanctions.
In hindsight, guess he should’ve asked the NCAA, “What’s your deal?”
Hear about LeBron James waking up in a cold sweat?
He dreamt that the air conditioning went off again in Game 5 — AND Lance Stephenson was blowing in his ear.
Talk to the animals
“It’s only a matter of time before a camel, tortoise or tsetse fly correctly picks all the World Cup results,” predicted Len Berman of ThatsSports.com. “That octopus from four years ago is dead.”
Buffaloed on this one
Phil Mickelson has never won the U.S. Open but has finished second a whopping six times.
“Darned if I can explain it,” said Phil’s new swing coach, Marv Levy.
We have a winner
If you had the Indians’ Lonnie Chisenhall in the nine-RBI office pool, please step forward to claim your prize.
• Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, after Minnesota Timberwolves president Flip Saunders hired himself as head coach: “Sources say he plans to announce his assistant coaches next week at the Saunders family reunion in Duluth.”
• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the NFL’s plan to place cameras in locker rooms and air video to fans in stadiums: “It will be a good idea until the moment a horrified crowd is accidentally shown a 365-pound guard with no pants.”
• TBS’s Conan O’Brien, after Miss Nevada — a black belt in Taekwondo — won the Miss USA Pageant: “ Actually, she wasn’t technically the winner, but she made the winner give her the crown.”
Boxing Out Dept.
Prime pugilist Manny Pacquiao will coach the Kia expansion team in the Philippines Basketball Association.
Opponents are already bracing for a steady diet of box-and-one defenses.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250