Skip to main content

Originally published May 16, 2014 at 11:07 PM | Page modified May 17, 2014 at 8:48 PM

  • Share:
  • Comments (0)
  • Print

Rice recruiter lands the pick of the litter box

The Seattle Times


Sideline Chatter

Apparently it’s not just dog-eat-dog out on the recruiting trail.

Rice’s football team secured a commitment from local three-star quarterback J.T. Granato, the Houston Chronicle reported, after co-offensive coordinator Billy Lynch sent a convincing letter — to Granato’s cat.

“I know you’d like to keep him close so he can feed you and change the litter box,” penned Lynch. “Please help us to get him to choose us. Paw me if you have any questions.”


• At “Aaron Hernandez suspended as part of the NFL’s second-time murderer policy.”

• At “Kevin Garnett mostly just pounding chest to keep heart going at this point.”

The tooth hurts

Many Olympic athletes, said IOC dental director Paul Piccininni, “have bodies of Adonis and a garbage mouth.”

“Tell us about it,” said 20 hockey teams in unison.

Maybe-see TV

“The NBA is having one of its most exiting playoff seasons ever,” wrote RJ Currie of “In fact, two out of 10 Americans say they watched the NBA instead of the seventh round of the NFL draft.”


FC Barcelona has given Lionel Messi a big pay bump — up to a reported $34 million a year.

Safe to say he just scored his golden goal.

Audible Groaner Dept.

The NFL’s biggest offseason suspense — no, not the draft destinations of Johnny Football or Jadeveon Clowney — has finally been lifted.

“I can’t tell you how many suggestions I get on what word I should use next year — cities, states, businesses, a lot of websites,” said Broncos QB Peyton Manning told Nebraska banquet-goers. “I am here to tell you I am sticking with ‘Omaha!’ ”

Home sweet home

“The Oakland A’’ are considering building a waterfront stadium,” noted Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. “It’d be great if the Raiders could play there, too; fans would feel like they’re back at Alcatraz.”

Talko time

• Comic Torben Rolfsen, after Vladimir Putin scored six goals in a Night Hockey League amateur game in Sochi: “The opposing team was just happy it didn’t go to a shootout.”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un starring in his own video game, along with Dennis Rodman: “I thought they already had Looney Tunes B-Ball.”

• NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, after Magic Johnson said he’s praying for Donald Sterling: “Yeah, he’s praying for him to get stuck in an elevator with Beyoncé’s sister.”

• Blogger TC Chong, after QB Johnny Manziel went 22nd to the Cleveland Browns: “In Dog Pound years, that’s like 154.”

Blue Devil money

Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski, at $9,682,032 a year, is the highest-paid coach in college sports, according to USA Today.

Just call him Coach $9,682K.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

Four weeks for 99 cents of unlimited digital access to The Seattle Times. Try it now!

News where, when and how you want it

Email Icon



Celebrate that amazing NFC win with a poster or tee shirt featuring The Seattle Times Jan. 19 front page. Order now!


About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports. | 206-464-8250


The Seattle Times

The door is closed, but it's not locked.

Take a minute to subscribe and continue to enjoy The Seattle Times for as little as 99 cents a week.

Subscription options ►

Already a subscriber?

We've got good news for you. Unlimited content access is included with most subscriptions.

Subscriber login ►
The Seattle Times

To keep reading, you need a subscription upgrade.

We hope you have enjoyed your complimentary access. For unlimited access, please upgrade your digital subscription.

Call customer service at 1.800.542.0820 for assistance with your upgrade or questions about your subscriber status.

The Seattle Times

To keep reading, you need a subscription.

We hope you have enjoyed your complimentary access. Subscribe now for unlimited access!

Subscription options ►

Already a subscriber?

We've got good news for you. Unlimited content access is included with most subscriptions.

Activate Subscriber Account ►