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Originally published May 6, 2014 at 5:30 PM | Page modified May 6, 2014 at 8:02 PM

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Just another reason why it’s a bad idea to tailgate

The Seattle Times


Windshields on racehorses, anyone?

Jockey Gary Stevens — despite taking a faceful of manure in midrace — rallied Global View to victory in the Grade II American Turf stakes race on Derby day at Churchill Downs.

And NASCAR drivers think car-exhaust fumes are nauseating.

Outhouse, penthouse

Thunder star Kevin Durant was named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player on Tuesday — just five days after he was derided as “Mr. Unreliable” in a Daily Oklahoman headline.

What’s next, Daniel Day-Lewis winning an Oscar and a Razzie in the same week?

And carry a big stick

One Ryan Braun marketing slogan you probably won’t see: First in WAR, first in PEDs, first in the NL Central.

Playing the horses

Denver receiver Wes Welker was spotted handing out $100 bills to strangers at Churchill Downs on Saturday after cashing in big on Kentucky Derby day.

Bottom line: Thoroughbreds were a much better bet than Broncos were this year.

Tweet of the Week

From Florida Panthers goaltender Roberto Luongo: “I was blowing 2-goal leads way before all the cool kids started doing it.”

Canada Dry Dept.

“No Toronto team in the NBA, NHL or MLB has won a playoff series since April of 2004,” noted Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun. “By comparison, in that same period of time in Boston, the Red Sox have won the World Series three times, the Patriots have won two Super Bowls, the Bruins and Celtics have been champions and the same teams have lost in four other championship series or games.”

Unemployment line

Ex-Mariner Mario Mendoza — he of the infamous Mendoza Line — has been fired as Tijuana Toros manager in the Mexican Summer League.

What gives? The 8-16 team’s winning percentage was way above .200.

Quote marks

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after Virginia tight end Jake McGee said his transfer to Florida “in no way” was a negative reflection on his former team or its coaches: “Well, now, that should satisfy everyone who was born yesterday.”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on California Chrome winning the Kentucky Derby: “Even more good news for the champion Thoroughbred: He just had a shoe contract nailed down.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Air Serbia naming a plane in honor of Vlade Divac: “Instead of landing, it flops onto the tarmac.”

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after the University of Miami baseball team went on a 19-1 tear to soar to fourth in the national rankings: “Even better, not a single Hurricane has been kicked off the team for shoplifting crab legs.”

No thanks, George

Ex-pitcher Tommy John is selling 99 copies of his MRI elbow photos — signed by himself and the late Dr. Frank Jobe, who pioneered the famous surgery 40 years ago — for $1,295 each, with proceeds going to charity.

Now don’t you go getting any ideas there, George Brett.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports. | 206-464-8250


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