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Originally published May 1, 2014 at 5:52 PM | Page modified May 1, 2014 at 5:57 PM

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Giants taking their cuts


The Seattle Times

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So, Matt Cain, how’s that new cutter working out?

The San Francisco pitcher missed a start after slicing his right index finger with a knife — not unlike what Giants teammate Jeremy Affeldt did in 2011.

“I went to cut a sandwich and Affeldt was in there helping me out,” Cain joked to CSN Bay Area. “I guess he’s a bad guy to teach me.”

“Oh, I was the first one to visit him,” Affeldt retorted. “Welcome to the club. He’s made fun of me for three straight years.”

Penalty on the play

Jameis Winston has been suspended from the Florida State baseball team after walking out of Publix without paying for $32.72 worth of seafood.

Yo, Jameis: The NCAA’s new edict on unlimited free food for athletes doesn’t apply to grocery stores.

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Tallahassee Police clear Jameis Winston after crab refuses to press charges.”

• At BorowitzReport.com: “Sterling says he will miss being around people he hates.”

Movie quiz

“The Expendables 3,” due out in August, centers around:

a) mercenaries taking on a ruthless arms trader

b) NBA owners trying to dispose of Donald Sterling

His hat’s in the ring

Floyd Mayweather Jr. says he wants to buy the Los Angeles Clippers.

NBA insiders admit he has a puncher’s chance.

Football 1, Futbol 1

The NFL Seahawks and MLS Sounders have officially split as business entities in Seattle, and local economists are calling it a win-win.

The Sounders get to embellish their own brand, and the Seahawks can quit complaining that Sigi Schmid is scarfing up all the break-room donuts.

Quote marks

• NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, after President Obama called Donald Sterling’s remarks “incredibly offensive”: “And you know it’s bad when even Vladimir Putin says, ‘I hate to say it, but I am with Obama on this one.’ ”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on singer Willie Nelson becoming a fifth-degree black belt: “I’m sure his martial-arts master had no trouble at all calling him ‘grasshopper.’ ”

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on North Korean leader Kim Jung Un’s gentle side: “He looks at Dennis Rodman as the uncle he never killed.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on speculation the NFL might create a developmental league: “Don’t they already have that? It’s called the SEC.”

They’re toast

April, in case you missed it, was National Grilled Cheese Month.

Wisconsin Police, just out of habit, brought in a bunch of Packer fans for questioning.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com



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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
dperry@seattletimes.com | 206-464-8250

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