Beware the wrath of a jilted Panther
The Seattle Times
Is this the NFL, or WWE?
Joked ex-Panthers receiver Steve Smith — at least we think he was joking — to Charlotte’s WFNZ Radio about the possibility of playing against his former team: “Put your goggles on, cause there’s going to be blood and guts everywhere.”
Smith subsequently signed with the Ravens — scheduled to host Carolina this season.
• At TheOnion.com: “Coach pretty sure heated locker-room dispute over unpaid gambling debts will work itself out.”
• At SportsPicklecom: “Broncos sign every free agent but Tim Tebow.”
Big front yard
The Class A Lansing (Mich.) Lugnuts want to build 80 to 100 apartments looking out onto their ballpark’s outfield.
The penthouse suites, we assume, come with their own upper deck.
A hunter in North Carolina bagged a 500-pound wild boar.
He’s currently out curing a considerable slice — and we’re not talking about his golf game.
One of the summer’s top sporting spectacles — the Redneck Games in Dublin, Ga. — has been canceled due to budgetary constraints.
So now where is mainstream America supposed to slake its insatiable thirst for watermelon-seed spitting, toilet-seat horseshoes and mud-pit belly flopping?
If the 30-team NBA can field a five-player all-league team, why does the Pac-12 need to put 10 players on theirs?
“Check out these names: Ersan Ilyasova, Zaza Pachulia, Miroslav Raduljica and Giannis Antetokounmpo,” wrote Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. “Who do they play for? If you guessed the Latvian Olympic hockey team, give yourself a couple points for effort.
“But actually, they’re members of the NBA’s Milwaukee Bucks.”
• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, on proposals to move the NFL’s extra-point try from the 2-yard line to the 25: “Why stop there? Let’s also blindfold the kicker and have the goal posts move like a shooting gallery. Now we’re talking.”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after two Oscar voters who picked “12 Years a Slave” for best picture admitted they never saw the film: “They were busy judging Olympic figure skating.”
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after ex-49er safety Donte Whitner signed with the lowly Browns: “He should change his name to What?-ner.”
Peavy does it
Red Sox pitcher Jake Peavy finally made his spring-training debut last week, 12 days after he cut a finger with a fishing knife.
Coincidence? Scouts say he suddenly has a much nastier hook and sinker.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
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