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Originally published March 6, 2014 at 5:13 PM | Page modified March 6, 2014 at 5:36 PM

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Hit the ground running? Not her

The Seattle Times

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Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs. Danica Patrick vs. Richard Petty. Ronda Rousey vs. ... Floyd Mayweather Jr.?

Yes, Rousey — the UFC women’s bantamweight champion — says she has a surefire plan to beat the boxing champ in an MMA octagon.

“I would drop down to the ground and crawl over to him as fast I as I can,” Rousey told L.A.’s KPWR Radio. “I’d be skittering after him like the one dude in ‘Bloodsport’ who was doing the whole monkey-crawl fight system ... bear-crawl over there — just too low for him to hit me — and tackle him down.”

And once he’s on the ground, it’s over.

“Well, I spend a lot of time there,” she pointed out. “I doubt that he does.”

Hold that thought

The NCAA football rules committee has tabled a proposal designed to keep up-tempo offenses from quickly snapping the ball.

Alabama coach Nick Saban, true to form, said he’d have to wait 10 seconds before ripping the decision.

Flag on the play

Fourteen of the 58 players on Atlanta’s powerhouse Grady High School football team used fake addresses to enroll at the school, investigators discovered.

If this isn’t illegal procedure, what is?

Roll out the barrels

The Kentucky Baptist Convention’s head of evangelism is urging churches to give away shotguns to entice new members.

Suggested church motto: Hold your fire and brimstone.

Talking the talk

• Ex-Michigan tackle Taylor Lewan, to the NFL Network, on why he can’t wait to get drafted: “I’m 22 years old, living with my mother and unemployed. I’ll go anywhere. If someone wants to move a pro team to Alaska, I’ll go there.”

• Warriors forward Draymond Green, to the Detroit Free Press, on his relationship with his college coach, Tom Izzo: “He’ll still call me and tell me what I’m doing wrong, and I’ll call him and tell him what he’s doing wrong.”

• Crosby (Texas) High School senior Mike Ramirez, on landing a Houston Texans cheerleader as a prom date via Twitter: “Honestly, I didn’t think she’d respond. But you don’t hit unless you swing.”

• Charles Curtis of the Newark (N.J.) Star-Ledger, on the grass-roots attempt to make baseball’s opening day a national holiday: “If opening day is so American, how come this year’s opener is in Australia?”

It could happen

Chicago Cubs, 2014 World Series contenders? Hey, don’t laugh.

Vladimir Putin just got nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, didn’t he?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports. | 206-464-8250


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