In the news:
It was a Bear market at the start for a golden golfer
The Seattle Times
Jack Nicklaus didn’t exactly land on the green in his PGA Tour debut.
The Golden Bear recently posted a picture of the check he received for a 50th-place tie at the 1962 Los Angeles Open — for $33.33 — on his Instagram.
By contrast, Len Mattiace got $14,660 for a 49th-place tie at the OHL Classic in November.
“All through the years people have said, ‘You won WHAT the first time?! $33.33?!’ ” Nicklaus wrote. “Yes, and I wonder whatever happened to that extra penny.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “President Obama meets with baseball writers for advice on nation’s most pressing issues.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Defense needs to be more physical, reports man slumped on couch for past 5 hours.”
Slice of Life Dept.
Americans are suffering through a sudden cheese shortage because:
a) Kraft ran low on Velveeta
b) the 49ers visited Green Bay
Send in the clones
“First Kyle Orton. Then Andy Dalton,” noted Times reader Bill Littlejohn. “Tony Romo is spawning more imitators than Elvis Presley.”
Not on the marquee
Among the top 10 most unusual exhibits at the Baseball Hall of Fame, from CBS’s David Letterman:
• “Hourly reenactment of George Steinbrenner firing Billy Martin.
• “Kent Hrbek’s missing ‘E.’
• “The Hall of Culturally Insensitive Mascots.
• “Wall of used syringes.
• “Salute to the Groin Pull.”
Kicker on the rocks
So much for the 49ers calling a timeout before the Packers attempted a last-second field goal before halftime.
“It was about minus-23 Celsius with wind chill,” wrote RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Do you really need to ice the kicker?”
No Cheese Whiz
Packers tackle David Bakhtiari violated NFL policy when he re-entered the 49ers game after being diagnosed with a concussion.
At least both sides agreed on one thing: Bakhtiari’s move was a no-brainer.
• Blogger Chad Picasner, after LeBron James offered to be Johnny Manziel’s mentor: “I don’t think LeBron realizes that Manziel doesn’t get to pick his team, which eliminates a one-hour special, ‘The Decision — Part II.’ ”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Manziel declaring for the NFL draft: “Through force of habit, he wants $65 to sign his name on the contract.”
• Comic Torben Rolfsen, on how Dennis Rodman’s birthday basketball game for Kim Jong-un was quickly decided: “One team said ‘uncle.’ ”
NFL Films 101
The Colts fined punter Pat McAfee for tweeting a candid locker-room photo showing Andrew Luck’s naked backside.
That’s what you call getting thrown for a loss on a naked bootleg.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
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