In the news:
A major-league record: an 11-day pickle
The Seattle Times
In his next life, you have to figure, Adam Rosales might come back as a Ping Pong ball.
In a span of just 11 days last season, the infielder was designated for assignment by Oakland, claimed by the Rangers, designated by Texas, claimed by the A’s, designated by Oakland — and reclaimed by the Rangers.
On the bright side, he told the San Francisco Chronicle when the frenzy finally finished, “At least my car is still in Texas.”
• At Fark.com: “Chicago Bears give the rest of the NFC North a late Christmas present, re-sign Jay Cutler to a seven-year contract.”
• At TheOnion.com: “NFL referee can’t believe how old he looks in video replay.”
He’s going places fast
If you listen to the college-football pundits, South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney has “2014 Rookie of the Year” written all over him.
Just one question: in the NFL, or NASCAR?
A good holding call
A major choking incident was averted during the bowl season when Jesse Palmer applied the Heimlich maneuver on:
a) fellow ESPN broadcaster Chris Fowler
b) the Washington State football team
Hey, bettor, bettor
“At Gulfstream Park, a 10-cent Superfecta paid over $119,000,” noted Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “The guy chairing the Gamblers Anonymous meeting just threw up his arms in defeat.”
Kicked to the curb
“I’m not saying Peyton Manning is having a good season,” tweeted Randy Turner of the Winnipeg Free Press, “but I think the Broncos just released their punter.”
Jet Blue Dept.
The Miami Dolphins apparently couldn’t wait for New Year’s.
They dropped the ball on Dec. 28.
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Michigan State’s Rose Bowl win over Stanford: “So, will there be extra police security for couches in East Lansing tonight?”
• Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle, to the Fort Worth Star Telegram, on forward Renaldo Balkman: “You know he’s got a lot of pain tolerance if he’s got tattoos on his eyelids.”
• Senators coach Paul MacLean, to the Ottawa Sun, on the secret to growing a good Movember mustache: “Use good fertilizer. Molson Canadian works for me.”
Some fly pattern
NASA’s Kepler Telescope uncovered two mysterious objects in space — more than 65,000 light-years from Earth.
Scientists suspect it’s merely ice, asteroids or a couple Josh Freeman overthrows.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250