You won’t find Voldemort on this team
The Seattle Times
Harry Potter, fantasy-football wizard?
“My team name is Barkevious Mingo’s Mum,” British actor Daniel Radcliffe told The New York Times. “I just think Barkevious Mingo is the greatest name I’ve ever heard, and the fact that his mum invented that name is also amazing.
“And in that league I have the Cleveland defense as well, and they had an amazing game the other day against Buffalo, so I’m incredibly grateful to the Cleveland defense, Barkevious Mingo and his mother.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Slideshow: 50 WRs who think they didn’t get enough touches.”
• At Fark.com: “Woods nymph interrupts Presidents Cup.”
Let’s get physical
The Dallas Cowboys shut down their postgame locker room a bit early Sunday after media members got into a scuffle queuing up around linebacker Sean Lee’s cubicle to discuss the 51-48 loss to the Broncos.
Or to put it in football terms, the press coverage was bump-and-run.
You new here?
As Geoff Mosher of CSN Philadelphia pointed out, the Eagles’ Chip Kelley — on the job for 266 days as of Oct. 9 — has twice the coaching tenure in town as the 76ers’ Brett Brown (56 days), the Phillies’ Ryne Sandberg (54) and the Flyers’ Craig Berube (3) combined.
This just in: Dallas Cowboys sign Mariano Rivera to act as Tony Romo’s closer.
He’s got a problem
Things are so bad for Texans QB Matt Schaub — who’s thrown a pick-six in a record four straight NFL games — that Houston fans are showing up at his house and personally berating him.
Even worse, someone just intercepted his morning paper before it even hit the porch.
0 wins, 12 losses, 1 Ty
Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on the college football playoff selection committee?
Hey, don’t laugh: She had just as many wins — and 12 fewer losses — as committee member Tyrone Willingham did in his final season coaching the Washington Huskies.
Quoth the mavens
• NBC’s Jay Leno, after President Obama said the Redskins should consider changing their nickname: “He didn’t stop there. He also said the New York Giants should consider changing their sport.”
• Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports, on the Dodgers’ $220 million payroll: “If the U.S. Mint ever makes a million-dollar bill, it should feature Vin Scully’s face.”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on driver Danica Patrick co-hosting the American Country Awards: “And why not? Her marriage broke up, she’s got a dog, drives a Chevy, and all her chases end in heartache.”
You go long dept.
Virginia Tech and Tennessee will make college-football history in 2016 when they play at Bristol Motor Speedway.
Pundits are already predicting a heavy dose of go routes and circle patterns.
Dwight Perry: firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
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