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Originally published Thursday, September 26, 2013 at 5:53 PM

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Meredith was probably using the Maps app on her iPhone

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Talk about going the extra miles.

Meredith Fitzmaurice, who’d never run more than 20 miles at a time, took a wrong turn at a half-marathon in Amherstburg, Ontario, and wound up running her first-ever full marathon instead.

And won the women’s division of the Run for Heroes in 3:11:48.

Which qualified Fitzmaurice, 34, to run in next year’s Boston Marathon.

Bite out of crime

O.J. Simpson, the jailed ex-football star, got busted for trying to sneak a dozen oatmeal cookies from the Lovelock Correctional Center cafeteria inside his prison jumpsuit.

Moral of the story: Soup and sandwich, yes. Juice and cookies, no.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Yankees honor Derek Jeter, retire his number, forcibly remove him from stadium.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “Cardinals looking to limit Carson Palmer’s touches.”

3 strikes and you’re out

Among the signs your favorite baseball team didn’t make the playoffs, from comedy writer Tim Hunter:

• “Right next to player in on-deck circle — his suitcase!

• “Number 20 has a new ‘See you next spring’ tattoo.

• “Guy rounding third was told to go home ... and he headed for his car.”

Quote marks

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the hubbub over Texans running back Arian Foster getting $100 handshakes when he played at Tennessee: “OK, this is getting ridiculous. Let’s start assuming all college football players get paid, and make it newsworthy only if they don’t.”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after a stripper reportedly conked Ravens receiver Jacoby Jones on the head with a bottle: “Authorities are not sure if Chardonnay hit him with a brandy bottle or Brandy hit him with a chardonnay bottle.”

• From Fark.com, on NFL ticket-buyers in Jacksonville, Fla., getting offered a free beer for every one they buy: “Jaguars realize people have to be drunk to watch their games.”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Brazilian’s Aparecidens got a disputed soccer win after its massage therapist ran onto the field to block two shots: “Now there’s a guy I’d want in a rubber match.”

Sail of the century

Oracle Team USA, down 8-1 to New Zealand, amazingly won eight straight races to snatch the America’s Cup.

Or as the comeback is destined to be known: The Miracle on Melted Ice.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
dperry@seattletimes.com | 206-464-8250

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