Meredith was probably using the Maps app on her iPhone
The Seattle Times
Talk about going the extra miles.
Meredith Fitzmaurice, who’d never run more than 20 miles at a time, took a wrong turn at a half-marathon in Amherstburg, Ontario, and wound up running her first-ever full marathon instead.
And won the women’s division of the Run for Heroes in 3:11:48.
Which qualified Fitzmaurice, 34, to run in next year’s Boston Marathon.
Bite out of crime
O.J. Simpson, the jailed ex-football star, got busted for trying to sneak a dozen oatmeal cookies from the Lovelock Correctional Center cafeteria inside his prison jumpsuit.
Moral of the story: Soup and sandwich, yes. Juice and cookies, no.
• At TheOnion.com: “Yankees honor Derek Jeter, retire his number, forcibly remove him from stadium.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Cardinals looking to limit Carson Palmer’s touches.”
3 strikes and you’re out
Among the signs your favorite baseball team didn’t make the playoffs, from comedy writer Tim Hunter:
• “Right next to player in on-deck circle — his suitcase!
• “Number 20 has a new ‘See you next spring’ tattoo.
• “Guy rounding third was told to go home ... and he headed for his car.”
• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the hubbub over Texans running back Arian Foster getting $100 handshakes when he played at Tennessee: “OK, this is getting ridiculous. Let’s start assuming all college football players get paid, and make it newsworthy only if they don’t.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after a stripper reportedly conked Ravens receiver Jacoby Jones on the head with a bottle: “Authorities are not sure if Chardonnay hit him with a brandy bottle or Brandy hit him with a chardonnay bottle.”
• From Fark.com, on NFL ticket-buyers in Jacksonville, Fla., getting offered a free beer for every one they buy: “Jaguars realize people have to be drunk to watch their games.”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Brazilian’s Aparecidens got a disputed soccer win after its massage therapist ran onto the field to block two shots: “Now there’s a guy I’d want in a rubber match.”
Sail of the century
Oracle Team USA, down 8-1 to New Zealand, amazingly won eight straight races to snatch the America’s Cup.
Or as the comeback is destined to be known: The Miracle on Melted Ice.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250