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Originally published September 17, 2013 at 6:39 PM | Page modified September 17, 2013 at 6:40 PM

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The loser in this league literally gets tattooed

The Seattle Times

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And you think your fantasy-football league is a little too hard core?

The last-place finisher in an Omaha, Neb., league has to get a tattoo — as chosen by the league champion.

”Your skin, your body, is on the line for these guys,” Cash Cows owner Josh Benson told ESPN. “Say Roddy White drops a pass? That could be the difference between having a Bieber tattoo on your leg, or ... your thigh as normal as you were born.”

Humoring himself

Greg Gilbertson, his vision limited because of diabetes, aced the 135-yard eighth hole at Steamboat Golf Club in Steamboat Springs, Colo.

“It was just blind luck,” he joked to the Steamboat Today newspaper. “Somebody said, ‘I think it went in.’ I asked, ‘Where? The water?’ ”

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Shy Eli Manning nervously asks Peyton Manning for his autograph after game against Broncos.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Local Applebee’s removes photo of underperforming Pop Warner team.”

Hoe, hoe, hoe

Ageless pitcher Jamie Moyer, finally retired at 51 and living in San Diego, says, “I’m pretty proud of my garden.”

In other words, he’s still keeping things down in the dirt.

Numb and number

Since 1990 — when the NFL expanded to a 12-team playoff format — only 11.6 percent of the teams that started 0-2 made the playoffs.

Even more amazing, no team that started 18-0 has ever won the Super Bowl.

Talking the talk

• Comedy writer Marc Ragovin, on New York schools’ standarized-test scores: “While a vast majority could not do simple arithmetic, 97 percent correctly figured out when the Mets would be mathematically eliminated from contention.”

• The Bottom Ten’s Steve Harvey, on the paranoia surrounding USC football: “During a postgame interview, Lane Kiffin, the increasingly secretive USC coach, declined to confirm that he was Lane Kiffin.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on LeBron James honeymooning at an undisclosed location: “I think we can pretty much rule out Cleveland.”

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Patriots QB Tom Brady yelled at his receivers for dropping passes: “Wait, isn’t that Giselle’s job?”

Paging David Hasselhoff

Actress Pamela Anderson says she’ll run in the New York City Marathon on Nov. 3 to raise funds for charity.

If she runs as fast as she did in all those “Baywatch” slo-mos, race officials fear, she might not finish before Thanksgiving.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
dperry@seattletimes.com | 206-464-8250

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