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Originally published September 15, 2013 at 6:55 PM | Page modified September 15, 2013 at 7:08 PM

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Jared Allen has a Taunting Efficiency Rating of 100

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What, Jared Allen trash-talk?

“No, no, not too much,” the Minnesota Vikings’ serial sack artist told ESPN. “Not unless the offensive lineman says something to me.

“Then I just tell ’em to pick their quarterback up.”

Grass clippings

Two takes on Broncos QB Peyton Manning getting a new strain of medicinal marijuana in Colorado named after him:

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press: “Gives a whole new meaning to the term Manning Bowl.”

• From Fark.com: “Said to be euphoric and energetic, but doesn’t quite get you all the way there.”

How’d Oregon miss him?

Wonder where Terry Bradshaw learned to throw a wounded duck?

The starting QB at Louisiana Tech when Bradshaw arrived as a freshman in 1966? Phil Robertson — of TV’s “Duck Dynasty” fame.

Check the small type

A woman is fighting DMV to get all of her surname — Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele — on her Hawaiian driver’s license.

Just be glad it’s not on the back of a softball jersey.

Mustn’t-see TV

Aaron Hernandez, the imprisoned ex-Patriots tight end, is not allowed to see any NFL games on the jailhouse TV.

Good thing. Watching New England’s 13-10 win over the Jets could’ve gotten him sprung on a cruel-and-unusual appeal.

I-do it later

Heat star LeBron James married his high-school sweetheart in San Diego on Saturday, Us Weekly reported.

Though officiant Jim Gray kept well-wishers waiting for nearly an hour before finally coaxing LeBron to say his “I do.”

Talking the talk

• DJ Gallo of SportsPickle.com, on two things that haven’t changed at all since the Pirates’ last winning season in 1992: “The Middle East: not a great place for vacation ... Jim Leyland looks like a 75-year-old man.”

• Jerry Greene of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on why he had no problem picking the Saints to rout the Buccaneers in Week 2: “Let’s keep this simple: Drew Brees or Josh Freeman?”

Lots of roll-out plays

Ricky Williams, the pot-loving former running back, is back in college as an assistant coach, at University of the Incarnate Word.

Guess who’s hoping they bring back the Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
dperry@seattletimes.com | 206-464-8250

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