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Originally published August 24, 2013 at 4:46 PM | Page modified August 24, 2013 at 10:22 PM

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Ray Lewis scouting report: ‘A’ for effort, ‘F’ for Diction

The Seattle Times

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Sideline Chatter

Bluto Blutarsky, meet Ray Lewis.

Seems the former Ravens linebacker did a dead-on imitation of Bluto’s “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” speech with some of his fiery pregame exhortations.

“I love Ray, and I love how he always spoke from the heart,” Baltimore QB Joe Flacco told ESPN The Magazine, “but if you listened to those speeches, a lot of them didn’t even make sense.

“He meant everything he was saying, but I didn’t know what he was talking about 90 percent of the time.”

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Surging Astros win 3rd straight inning.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Gronk want play football now.”

But who’s counting?

Tom Brady was the top-earning player in New England last year, but he wasn’t even No. 1 in his own household.

The financial scoreboard, according to Forbes magazine: Brady $38.3 million, supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen $42 million.

In his job description

When Braves shortstop Paul Janish trapped a live bat in the infield, they sent the youngest guy in the dugout — Will Kearney — out with a towel to cover it and carry it to safety.

Well, he is the bat boy, right?

Tweet of the Week

“Amateurism is dead, smothered by NCAA commercialization. Yet, NCAA drags it around like it’s in a bizarre remake of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s.’ ” — ESPN’s Jay Bilas.

1 yard at a time

We like the Vikings’ chances of winning all the land disputes over the site of their proposed stadium.

With Adrian Peterson, they tend to gain a lot of ground.

Sports quiz

“Wedge back following stroke” was an ESPN.com headline on the topic of:

a) Golf

b) Baseball

Talko time

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on Florida State football coach Jimbo Fisher relaxing his rule banning hats indoors at the Seminoles’ football complex: “But only for those players who wore their ACC Championship hats.”

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, after 800Razors.com offered Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson $1 million to shave off his trademark beard: “A million bucks for a beard? Isn’t that a hedge fund?”

• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, after the Brewers’ Ryan Braun not only lied about his drug use but accused the urine collector of being anti-Semitic: “I have one question: Is sleazebag one word or two?”

Batting cleanup in Aisle 3

Ricardo Rodriguez — who renamed his Brooklyn market A-Rod Grocery in 2000 — says customer backlash over the beleaguered slugger’s PED use is forcing him to rename it again.

Hey, it was either that or convert it into a drugstore.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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