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Originally published Thursday, August 22, 2013 at 8:14 PM

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Brian Wilson: man with the $1 million beard

The Seattle Times

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As shave situations go, this one’s a win-win. has offered Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson $1 million to let them clear-cut his trademark bushy beard.

Your serve, WeedWacker ... $2 million?


• At “A-Rod incredibly humbled to be mentioned alongside all-time greats Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco.”

• At “Chiefs fire Andy Reid after 0-2 preseason start.”

Going to the ink well

Former Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel will teach a class called “General Principles of Coaching” at the University of Akron this fall.

But who cares about the class? Giddy students just want to trade their course syllabus for free tattoos!

Just asking

Considering the furor over San Diego mayor Bob Filner’s alleged misconduct — not to mention the Chargers’ 0-2 exhibition record — is this the week to Win One For The Groper?

Drs. Kettle, Black

Let’s see if we have this straight: Alex Rodriguez — who once let his cousin inject questionable substances into his buttocks — is complaining about his medical treatment from the Yankees?

Hole Truth Dept.

“Former Heat player Michael Beasley was arrested for possession of marijuana,” noted Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. “Is that even news? That’s like me being found in possession of a donut.”

That’s a first

Seahawks followers ranked near the bottom — 23rd of 32 teams — in terms of NFL fan loyalty, as determined by sports-marketing analysts at Atlanta’s Emory University Business School.

How shocking — seeing the words “Seattle” and “fair weather” in the same sentence, that is.

Quote marks

• Horse trainer D. Wayne Lukas, to The New York Times, on his four divorces: “You can have a trainer’s license or a marriage license ... one or another, but not both at the same time.”

• Jack Finarelli of, on why he can’t take the Wisconsin Duck and Goose Calling Championship seriously: “None of the judges were ducks or geese.”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on Allen Iverson — out of the NBA for three years — apparently set to finally call it quits: “His retirement speech doesn’t need any practice.”

Reshow me the money

Ten former players are suing NFL Films for using their images without compensation.

An NFL Films spokesman says he can’t comment until ... hey, wait — they’ve already seen the films!

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports. | 206-464-8250


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