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Originally published August 18, 2013 at 7:10 PM | Page modified August 18, 2013 at 8:17 PM

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This UFC fighter’s strongest muscle is definitely his tongue

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Ultimate fighter? Conor McGregor is the ultimate talker, too.

“There’s two things I really like to do,” McGregor told reporters before UFC Fight Night 26 in Boston, “and that’s whoop ass and look good. I’m doing one of them right now. Saturday night, I’m gonna do the other.”

That he did, scoring a unanimous decision over Max Holloway.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Dolphins struggling to get shy rookie to participate in practice.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “Report: Johnny Manziel has terrible penmanship.”

They’ve got you covered

Surefire Mets promotional giveaway: LaTroy Hawkins Protective Cup Night.

And bonus points if they can talk any old “Sopranos” cast members into making a guest appearance.

Spell-check, please

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored a hat trick in his first game after signing with Germany’s Borussia Dortmund soccer team, and opponents and headline writers are already in agreement:

This spells trouble.

Good thinking

“The NFL is considering hiring a mother of three to be a referee,” noted TNT’s Conan O’Brien. “They wanted someone who’s used to giving timeouts.”

Bad-spin cycle

“Conjugate the nickname,” wrote Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun. “A-Rod. A-fraud. A-roid. And now, A-rat. Is that hitting the cycle of nicknames?”

Perfect Recall Dept.

According to University of Chicago scientists, the best memory in the animal kingdom belongs to dolphins.

No kidding. Don Shula’s won’t let anybody forget 1972.

Quote marks

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Marlins outfielder Justin Ruggiano finally ended his near-record hitless streak: “For 42 at-bats in a row, Justin had the same number of hits as your cat, Fluffster.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel: “The A&M now stands for ‘Autographs and Moolah.’ ”

• Minnesota Timberwolves center Nikola Pekovic, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, on why he hasn’t added any new tattoos since last season: “No more room.”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after Pats QB Tim Tebow put up a 0.0 passer rating against the Bucs: “Which ties him with Bluto Blutarsky’s.”

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the pairing of glacial Wisconsin and Virginia in the ACC/Big Ten Basketball Challenge on Dec. 4: “First team to 30 wins.”

Ice tee, anyone?

And in social news, golfer Dustin Johnson is engaged to Paulina Gretzky, daughter of NHL icon Wayne.

Best item on the bridal registry: his-and-hers Big Bertha hockey sticks.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry

Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
dperry@seattletimes.com | 206-464-8250

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