In the news:
In lieu of flowers, family asks for your third-round slot
Fantasy football player “Ricky L.” had one fateful week in 2011.
The Seattle Times
Well, that was a short mourning period.
Fantasy football player “Ricky L.,” in one fateful week in 2011, lost running back Fred Jackson to a broken leg on Sunday, had his wife die on Tuesday and, just three days after her passing, he pilfered LeSean McCoy — from his dead wife’s team — in exchange for Jackson.
“It’s a terrible trade, obviously, as no one would ever trade a stud for a guy who’s done for the season,” wrote ESPN.com’s Matthew Berry, “but beyond that, the owner of McCoy is, you know, dead! Clearly, the husband is controlling both teams.”
And when the predictable backlash came from his fellow league members?
“The husband responds: ‘Hey!!! It was her dying wish.’
“Ball game, husband.”
• At Fark.com: “Yankees hope A-Rod rejoins team next week. So do the other teams in the AL East.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Metta World Peace signs 2-year deal with New York Post.”
Dylan McCue-Masone, who said on Twitter he’d run onto the field during Tuesday’s All-Star Game if he got 1,000 retweets, made good on his promise and got taken down – hard – by stadium security.
So what’s his new nickname, Tweeter Dee or Tweeter Dumb?
Forty-Niners linebacker Ahmad Brooks, accused of breaking a beer bottle over a teammate’s head, has been:
a) cleared of possible charges, prosecutors say.
b) named an honorary 1970s Oakland Raider.
8 days and counting
A whole week has gone by since a cop last hauled in an NFL player.
Who says there’s no arrest for the wicked?
Six of the past 10 Home Run Derby winners sported facial hair, according to a study by Stats.com, and hairier hitters hit more homers per derby (12.3 to 10.5) than clean-shaven ones.
So when pundits talk about Yoenis Cespedes’ hair apparent, they’re not kidding.
Talking the talk
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after a customer tackled a prison escapee at an Ohio convenience store: “Seeing an inmate tackled, at first I thought it was a Cincinnati Bengals preseason game.”
• CBS’s David Letterman, on the New York City heat wave: “It was so hot today that Joey Chestnut ate 68 Dove bars.”
• Golfer Sergio Garcia, to AP, recalling his first British Open as a 16-year-old amateur in 1996: “The grass was taller than I was.”
Paging Bryce Harper
So, are opposing QBs really scared of South Carolina’s star defensive end?
That’s a Clowney question, bro.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250