Meet the woulda, coulda, shoulda All-Star MLB team Sideline chatter
The Seattle Times
What are the Yankees getting from their third baseman, who is making a reported major-league high $29 million this year: A-robbed.
While the only thing Alex Rodriguez has produced for the Yankees this year are headaches, here is a lineup that $29 million could buy this season, with nearly $18.5 million left over.
C Wilin Rosario, $491,000
1B Paul Goldschmidt, $516,667
2B Jason Kipnis, $509,400
SS Brandon Crawford, $530,000
3B Manny Machado $495,000
OF Chris Davis, $3.3 million
OF Mike Trout, $510,000
OF Daniel Nava, $505,500
DH Mark Trumbo, $540,000
SP Matt Harvey, $498,750
SP Jeff Locke, $497,5000
SP Patrick Corbin, $494,000
SP Chris Tillman, $508,500
SP Lance Lynn, $513,000
Closer Craig Kimbrel, $655,000
New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton caddied for PGA Tour player Ryan Palmer last weekend at the Greenbrier Classic.
It worked out fine until Payton kept suggesting trap plays.
A rockfish estimated to be 200 years old was recently caught off the coast of Sitka, Alaska, meaning when it was born:
a) James Madison was beginning his second term as U.S. president
b) Jamie Moyer was beginning his major-league career.
When you come to a fork ...
Mohamed ElBaradei, the Nobel Prize-winning diplomat from Egypt, quoted a beloved former Yankee regarding the ouster of Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi. “We just lost 2½ years. As Yogi Berra said, ‘It is déjà vu all over again,’ but hopefully this time we will get it right.”
The guess to Morsi’s response: “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”
What did Charles Barkley call Joey Chestnut’s record of 69 hot dogs eaten in 10 minutes?
A tale of two franchises
In case you were wondering, the last time the Mariners swept a series, the Seahawks had yet to name Russell Wilson their starting quarterback.
• “Apparently, a lot of people find it fascinating.” — My 5-year-old daughter Elizabeth, pointing to the large crowd on TV watching Chestnut consume hot dogs and refuting Mom’s claim that the competition was ridiculous.
• Mets first baseman Ike Davis, on his swing after modifying it during a stint in the minor leagues: “You’re going to have to find out tonight. See if you guys can pick it apart. ... Obviously it’s not like I’m standing on my head.”
It’s no joke
If you didn’t think this was funny, have no fear: The Times’ Dwight Perry, with his endless supply of jokes, returns Monday.
Scott Hanson: email@example.com