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Originally published March 2, 2013 at 3:56 PM | Page modified March 2, 2013 at 4:40 PM

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If nothing else, it must have made Danny Almonte proud

He was a fifth-year senior? No kidding. Turns out No. 22 on the Ridgeway High School boys basketball roster really was 22 — as in...

The Seattle Times

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He was a fifth-year senior? No kidding.

Turns out No. 22 on the Ridgeway High School boys basketball roster really was 22 — as in 22-year-old McKenzie Sewell — so Tennessee's third-ranked squad was bounced from the playoffs as a result.

"Sources said the man was a former gang member in New Orleans," reported Wayne Carter of Memphis' WREG-TV, "and his wife signed papers saying she was his guardian."

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: "NCAA tournament selection committee not giving any team higher than a 4-seed this year."

• At Fark.com: "Well, at least Joe Flacco's CONTRACT is elite."

He's outta here

Rory McIlroy abruptly bolted to the parking lot midway through his Friday round at the Honda Classic — rendering him ineligible to win this year's PGA Tour's scoring title.

In other words, a good walk-off spoiled.

Lighten up, Motown

So, Forbes has deemed Detroit as the most miserable city in the U.S.?

Just imagine how inconsolable the citizenry would be if the Tigers hadn't reached the World Series.

Fuel for thought

NASCAR meals on wheels? That would be Danica Patrick's bus — not that of boyfriend/fellow driver Ricky Stenhouse Jr.

"Mine has more food," she told reporters. "I cook breakfast, eggs and oatmeal, toast, things like that. Fruit ... chicken, steak, salmon, veggies. And I have all the rices and beans. All the stuff you need. All the spices, knives, cutting boards.

"All he's got is Sweet Tarts, cereal and Chips Ahoy."

Vaticanned?

"My question is this," wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: "Did the pope really step down voluntarily, or did Dwight Howard get him fired?"

Now they tell us

"We shipped Dennis Rodman off to North Korea?" mused Times reader Jay Gould. "Why didn't we think of that 20 years ago?"

Talko time

• Minnesota basketball coach Tubby Smith, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, when asked if his wife commiserates with his job frustrations: "No. She says, 'Get the heck out of here.' She's been around me for 36 years. She doesn't put up with it."

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, after fans threw rolls of toilet paper at Canada's Scotties Tournament of Hearts: "Good thing the curling championship wasn't sponsored by Swiss Army Knives."

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on Heisman winner Johnny Manziel suing over the sale of 'Johnny Football' T-shirts: "You know what I want to start selling? 'Honk If You're Sick of Johnny Manziel' bumper stickers."

First-string player

Dave Hansen, who once taught Raul Ibanez how to play the guitar back when they were Mariners teammates, is Ibanez's mentor once again, this time as Seattle's batting coach.

All fine and good — as long as Raul doesn't wind up a banjo hitter.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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