Crazy sports stories never go on vacation
A final look back at the zany year in Sideline Chatter, with a snippet from each month. We also take this opportunity to give thanks that...
The Seattle Times
A final look back at the zany year in Sideline Chatter, with a snippet from each month.
We also take this opportunity to give thanks that, at least when it comes to sports, goofballs and odd stories appear to be an inexhaustible resource.
Roll the tape ...
18th hole is a doozy
January: Donald Trump announced plans to build a 1.5-acre cemetery for himself and club members near the fifth fairway at his Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, N.J.
Well, that's one surefire way to finish 6-under.
Some fly pattern
February: Former Cal quarterback Joe Ayoob tossed a paper airplane 226 feet, 10 inches — 19 ½ feet longer than the recognized world record — inside a hangar at McClellan Air Force Base in northern California.
Updated Ayoob scouting report: Still has an excellent arm, at least on paper.
He can fill a diaper
March: A woman from Vista, Calif., gave birth to a 13-pound, 14-ounce boy.
Mel Kiper Jr., alert as ever, immediately declared him the best line prospect in the 2034 NFL draft.
April: The Lingerie Football League announced it would mothball its 2012 season and instead focus on foreign expansion and making it a warm-weather sport.
Pink slips for everybody!
Paging Robert Redford
May: Giancarlo Stanton temporarily knocked out a portion of the digital display above the left-field concourse at Marlins Park with a prodigious 438-foot home run.
Next up on the Marlins' promotional calendar: Wonderboy Bat Night.
June: NCAA men's basketball champion Kentucky, envisioning a $3.5 million windfall, is raising its Rupp Arena seat prices for next season.
Increases range from $5 a ticket to $5,000 for unobstructed views of Ashley Judd.
Just say neigh
July: The NFL filed court papers alleging that Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams tried to manipulate a drug test, possibly with nonhuman urine.
So, in addition to his six-game NFL ban, he's been declared ineligible for next year's Kentucky Derby.
This Really Old House
August: Rome's ancient Colosseum is leaning slightly and needs a $30 million makeover, city fathers say.
David Stern, simply out of habit, threatened to yank the city's NBA franchise if a new arena isn't built.
September: An army vet fishing for bass near Springfield, Mo., reeled in a sock with a live hand grenade in it.
It's already being hailed as the fastest catch-and-release in angling history.
Upon further review
October: Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb's wife gave birth to their third child, an 8-pound, 11-ounce boy.
To no one's surprise, NFL replacement officials initially ruled it a girl.
Still blocking shots
November: Said 7-foot-2 Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul-Jabbar at the unveiling of his 16-foot statue outside Staples Center: "I'm glad we got here before the pigeons got to it."
Luckily, the bronzed Kareem is wearing his trademark goggles.
December: Caddies Grant Buchanan and Matt Kelly faced probable fines from the PGA after resorting to fisticuffs near the putting green before the opening round of the Australian Open.
One reportedly landed three punches but said, "Put me down for a five."
And finally ...
2013: You've got next.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org