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Originally published Sunday, November 25, 2012 at 6:43 PM

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'Pays for itself in three hold 'em tournaments!'

and super-size it! A Manhattan doctor is offering "Pokertox" treatments for his card-playing patients, a $600-$800 procedure that lasts...

The Seattle Times

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One poker face, please — and super-size it!

A Manhattan doctor is offering "Pokertox" treatments for his card-playing patients, a $600-$800 procedure that lasts 3-4 months.

"Very few people can maintain a real poker face," Dr. Jack Berdy told the New York Post. "They have some 'tells,' some expression that gives away that they have a good hand or a bad hand. Some squint, or furrow their brows.

"We can inject Botox ... What someone sees across the table is no movement."

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Al Michaels spends entire Thanksgiving practicing pronunciation of 'Hoomanawanui' for Thursday night game."

• At Fark.com: "Clippers top this week's NBA power rankings. Maybe those Mayans knew something we don't."

Hose Bowl

Sprinklers at Miami's Sun Life Stadium randomly activated during Sunday's game when the Dolphins trailed the Seahawks 14-7.

Crash Davis was immediately hauled in for questioning.

Pour losers

"According to a new poll, 55 percent of hockey fans blame owners for the lockout," wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. "The other 45 percent dumped beer on the survey takers."

Beyond Jason Hanson

"Say what you will about the Lions, but at least they have a consistent, reliable kicker," tweeted Sam Farmer of the L.A. Times. "Of course, I'm referring to Ndamukong Suh."

Quote marks

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on Commissioner Roger Goodell saying fans might start preferring to stay home because the TV broadcasts are so good: "The rising costs of tickets, parking and concessions have nothing to do with it, you understand."

• Buster Olney of ESPN.com, on the Angels' Mike Trout losing out for American League MVP: "(Miguel) Cabrera won the vote, but the debate will go on forever. It's the Bush/Gore of MVP voting."

• Thomas Boswell of The Washington Post, on the hockey labor impasse: "Hiring Don Fehr, the Sun Tzu of jock labor, to face NHL owners in a lockout is like getting the Godfather to help you fix a parking ticket."

Dollars from heaven

A natural-gas explosion leveled a strip club in Springfield, Mass.

Or, as Pacman Jones prefers to call it, a 100 percent chance of rain.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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