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Originally published Saturday, November 24, 2012 at 5:26 PM

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No one ever said not to look a gift turkey in the mouth

Giving away fumbles and interceptions, fine. But getting criticized while handing out free turkeys? Kansas City receiver Dexter McCluster...

The Seattle Times

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Giving away fumbles and interceptions, fine. But getting criticized while handing out free turkeys?

Kansas City receiver Dexter McCluster got an earful about his 1-9 Chiefs from an elderly woman when he delivered turkey and canned goods to her home last week.

"She put me in my place," McCluster told AP. "She said, 'I'm praying for you guys. Hopefully you guys can win a game soon.' I told her we're working hard. She said, 'Well, work harder.' She loves her Chiefs and she wants us to win."

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: "10,000 fans meet at airport to greet Eagles' team plane with rocks."

• At TheOnion.com: "Miami Hurricanes also impose unprecedented postseason bowl ban on Florida Gators."

Old Grey Mare Dept.

Back in 1948, a visiting Calgary Stampeders fan — in Toronto to watch his team play in the Grey Cup — rode a horse into the lobby of the Royal York Hotel.

"If you'd been drinking beer for eight straight days," explained fellow fan Bill Galiardi, 87, to the Calgary Sun, "you wouldn't give a damn where your horse went either."

Pass the football

From Bob Molinaro of the Norfork Virginian-Pilot:

"Q: What do you call the 'Monday Night Football' game between the 3-7 Eagles and 2-8 Panthers?

"A: Leftover turkey."

Pinocchio lives!

Miami shipped pitcher Mark Buehrle to Toronto, he says, despite assurances that he wouldn't be dealt as a condition of signing with Miami.

So update that old bromide to read "The check is in the mail, this will only take a minute, and you won't be traded by the Marlins."

Talko time

• Mike Freeman of CBSSports.com, after Jets fanatic "Fireman Ed" Anzalone left the stadium at halftime with his team trailing the Patriots 35-3: "That about says it all. That's the football equivalent of Walter Cronkite saying the Vietnam War is lost."

• Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim, to AP, on conference realignment: "If these guys were running the United States in colonial times, Brazil and Argentina would be states because they have something we need."

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, after Tufts University rescinded the honorary degree it bestowed on disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong: "No, the degree was not in chemistry."

Gut-check time

Two overweight shoplifters snatched a bunch of cameras from an Wal-Mart in Oklahoma by hiding them in the rolls of their belly fat.

Or as it's known in NFL circles, the Refrigerator Perry hidden-ball trick.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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