Cancel that order for 21,216 burgers to go.

The Bulls' Joakim Noah drew the wrath of his coach, the opposing Orlando Magic and a packed United Center house when he hoisted up an off-target three-pointer in the closing seconds of a 99-93 victory. Seems the patrons get a free hamburger when the home team scores 100.

"I just got caught up in the moment, and I was trying to get the people a Big Mac," Noah told ESPNchicago.com. "... Not only did I take the shot and miss the shot, we didn't even get the Big Mac."

Not that the odds were in his favor. Noah is 0 for 5 in career three-point attempts.

Headlines

... At Fark.com: "Michael Vick blames the media for speculation he might be benched, despite the fact that in the first six games he's thrown eight interceptions, lost five fumbles and bitten two mailmen."

... From tweeter @RolandSMartin: "Breaking news: Pres. Obama to travel to Alabama Monday to comfort a grief-stricken state."

Golden Bootie Award

Soccer star Lionel Messi's girlfriend just gave birth to a boy, and mom is certainly glad that part's over with.

Obstetricians say they'd never seen a baby kick so much.

Trick-or-feet

Redskins QB Robert Griffin III handed out socks instead of Halloween candy this year.

Added Todd Dewey of the Las Vegas Review-Journal: "Can you imagine what the reaction would have been had Michael Jordan handed out Hanes underwear at his house?"

Quote marks

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on the Lakers firing coach Mike Brown after just five games: "He knew he was in trouble when Kobe said, 'Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.' "

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Notre Dame rallied to beat Pittsburgh in triple overtime: "After the game, the NBC announcing crew tore down the goal posts."

Name game

The family of Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel is looking to trademark his "Johnny Football" nickname.

Teddy Ballgame, we imagine, is off somewhere spinning in his freezer.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com