Lance Armstrong might be stripped of 868th place finish in New York Marathon
Whatever he was using wasn't working too well
The Seattle Times
What, stripping him of seven Tour de France titles wasn't punishment enough?
Now comes word that the New York City Marathon — which also falls under the auspices of the USADA — will likely erase Lance Armstrong's name from the results of its 2006 race, too.
He finished 868th.
• At SportsPickle.com: "Ozzie Guillen spray-paints 'Castro #1' on Marlins Stadium on way out of town."
• At TheOnion.com: "Fullback disappointed to learn he didn't get lead blocker in upcoming play."
Air Force blue
From the Sometimes These Items Just Write Themselves file comes Wyoming football coach Dave Christensen, who drew a one-week suspension and $50,000 fine for an expletive-filled postgame tirade in the face of Air Force counterpart Troy Calhoun.
As Wyoming was celebrating "Military Appreciation Day."
Jets QB Mark Sanchez and actress Eva Longoria have split up.
Or as his receivers prefer to call it, getting some separation.
The Raleigh News & Observer reports that North Carolina wideout Erik Highsmith got busted for plagiarizing a poultry-farming report.
Written by four 11-year-olds.
Stat of the week
The New England Patriots, pointed out Michael Vega of The Boston Globe, "will log more mileage in two weeks (11,480 round trip) for games in Seattle and London than 11 NFL teams will all season."
Going, going, gone
Hitting coach Joey Cora was also a casualty when the Marlins fired manager Ozzie Guillen.
"Why did he get the boot?" wondered blogger Chad Picasner. "Did he praise Che Guevara while my back was turned?"
• NBC's Jay Leno, counting himself among the undecideds during Monday's presidential debate: "I couldn't decide whether to watch the baseball game or the football game."
• Ex-Idaho football coach Robb Akey, to the Spokane Spokesman-Review, on feeling bored just days after being fired: "I don't know how to do nothing."
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on Hall of Fame catcher Carlton Fisk's recent DUI arrest: "Officers said he failed the field sobriety test when he tried to wave himself fair."
• Texans defensive tackle J.J. Watt, miked up by NFL Films during last Sunday's game, to 5-foot-8 Ravens running back Ray Rice: "I've eaten burritos bigger than you."
That explains it
Michael Schumacher, the Missouri athletic department's director of video operations, had some explaining to do when an audit of his school-issued credit card uncovered a $7,605.50 charge from a Las Vegas strip club.
Well, he is from the Show-Me State.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org