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Originally published Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 8:19 PM

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All for jail time, stand up and holler

Two bits ... four bits ... six bits ... 9,400 dollars? The Oaklyn Cats Cheerleading Club of Audubon, N. J., is out that much cash, authorities...

The Seattle Times

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Pretty good stuff today, Mr. Perry. MORE

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Two bits ... four bits ... six bits ... 9,400 dollars?

The Oaklyn Cats Cheerleading Club of Audubon, N.J., is out that much cash, authorities say, after lovelorn team treasurer Susan Loberto wrote six checks from the Cats' account and wired the money to a man in Ghana whom she'd met online at Chemistry.com about a month ago.

Loberto, 50, has been charged with fraud.

In lieu of taking the Fifth, defense lawyers are urging her to hold that line.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Ravens already dreading Ray Lewis constantly being on sideline for rest of season."

• At Fark.com: "Armstrong stripped of Tour de France titles, moon landing."

He's no Newman

"I get a kick out of it when I go home at the end of a baseball season (and) somebody says, 'Boy, you look bad,' " Jim Leyland, the Tigers' dedraggled manager, told The Washington Post. "I always tell them, 'Well, show me a manager that looks like Paul Newman after 162 games, I'll show you a guy that didn't do a very good job.' "

All lines are open

Not that the Yankees are trying to get rid of Alex Rodriguez or anything, but rival GMs are suddenly getting baseballs in the mail with the Yankees' phone number scrawled on them.

No Fever breaks

Think post-Peyton Indianapolis was starved for a championship? Check out what this female fan, 43, arrested for public intoxication after the city's first WNBA title, told the arresting officer, according to the police report:

"Baby, I'm celebrating the Fever winning the championship. I'm loaded. I ain't gonna lie."

Quote marks

• Todd Nelkin of Houston, to AP, on auctioning off his football card signed by Walter Payton and Barry Sanders in hopes of raising $20,000 for a vitro-fertilization procedure for his wife: "I would love to keep the card, but I would rather have a kid."

• Comedy writer Bob Mills, on commissioner Bud Selig's request to cut alcohol consumption in baseball clubhouses: "Most teams have more players in AA than Triple-A."

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on National Fossil Day: "In a related story, Evander Holyfield announced he wants another title shot."

• Ex-Raiders cornerback Lester Hayes, to ESPN, when the NFL banned the use of Stickum in 1981: "You won't see guys catching passes anymore with their elbows."

Picky, picky

Justin Verlander, the Tigers' ace pitcher, has a glaring weakness after all: He's 0 for 33 lifetime as a big-league hitter.

Which is kind of like complaining that Brooklyn Decker doesn't like to cook.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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