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Originally published Saturday, October 13, 2012 at 4:31 PM

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Jeter gets quite the profit by any statistical measure

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter finally sold his 88th-floor Manhattan penthouse, for $15.5 million. That's about a $2.5 million profit on what...

The Seattle Times

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Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter finally sold his 88th-floor Manhattan penthouse, for $15.5 million.

That's about a $2.5 million profit on what he paid for it in 2001, or as sabermetricians prefer to call it, a Fins Above Replacement of $500,000.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Muted episode of 'Pardon the Interruption' playing on every TV in gym."

Deep Sixed Dept.

"After the Jets and Houston Texans played earlier this week — in the 666th edition of Monday Night Football — New York quarterback Mark Sanchez had a quarterback rating this season of 66.6," wrote Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post. "Yep, Sanchez is having one hell of a season."

Sanchez's jersey number: 6.

Sports quiz

A world-record 35 consecutive handsprings were uncorked by:

a) a 16-year-old girl, on a Texas football field;

b) Alex Rodriguez, upon remembering he has the Yankees on the hook for $114 million the next five years.

Fun while it lasted

The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency claims Lance Armstrong's team ran "the most sophisticated ... doping program" in sports history.

"When news of this got out," noted Jimmy Fallon, "Major League Baseball was like, 'Well, we had a good run.' "

Nurse, get me rewrite

Oops: Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel predicted LSU would beat Florida by 21 points — and the Gators won, 14-6.

"Doctors bury their mistakes," Bianchi pointed out. "Sports columnists only print ours."

Dead heat

Heard about the Michigan woman who watched NASCAR races for two years on TV beside the corpse of a dead friend?

"Or, put another way," wrote Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, " 'Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby' meets 'Weekend at Bernie's.' "

Talko time

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, via Twitter, on jumbo Tigers Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder: "Getting past Cabrera and Fielder like sneaking past Park Place and Boardwalk with hotels."

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on last week's North American Wife Carrying Championship in Newry, Me.: "Or as some people call it, wife in the fast lane."

• Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain, to AP, on his spate of weird injuries: "I don't know if I'd hang out with me very much. I might need a bubble."

• CBS's David Letterman, on the latest air-quality study: "They said New York's air has more chemicals in it than Lance Armstrong."

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the Arizona ski resort using sewage water to produce artificial snow: "You thought you hated doing a face plant on the slopes before?"

Rein delay in N.Y.

Coincidence? The same day Alex Rodriguez got pinch-hit for in Game 4 of the ALDS, a horse named A Rod was scratched from a race at Belmont.

Just don't break a leg, Alex.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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