Shouldn't this guy be playing for the Chargers?

Redskins long snapper Nick Sundberg — who played most of his team's season opener after breaking his arm — might get his toughness from the fact he's a volunteer crash-test dummy for the taser company his mother works for.

"First time I ever did it, I was 9. It was Bring-Your-Kid-to-Work Day," he told The Washington Post. "They got me twice that day. It hurts.

"Every time they come out with a new one, I've tried it. Except for this last one because I haven't been around there a lot."

Headlines

• At Fark.com: "NCAA looking into recruitment of a football player by the University of Auburn. This is not a repeat of 1991, 1993, 1994, 2004 or 2010."

• At SportsPickle.com: "NHL owners say they can't afford to give players the huge contacts they've been giving them."

Thinking big

Lakers forward Metta World Peace — the former Ron Artest — says the team has a shot at going an NBA-record 73-9 after the additions of Dwight Howard and Steve Nash.

That being said, Metta might want to ask the 2001 Mariners or the 2007 Patriots where regular-season records of 116-43 and 16-0 got them.

Mustn't-see TV

"Not good," tweeted CBS's Eric Stangel. "I just tried to play Falcons-Chargers on Madden 13 and it was blacked out."

Good excuse

Minnesota Lynx owner Glen Taylor didn't accompany his team when President Obama hosted the reigning WNBA champs at the White House, citing business conflicts.

"I told the girls somebody had better stay home and earn some money to pay for you," he told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "They liked that."

Quote marks

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Savannah State was listed as a 70 ½- and 67 ½-point underdog in its first two games — and lost 84-0 and 58-0: "I'm not sure what Savannah State's problem is this year, but we can rule out overconfidence."

• Rays manager Joe Maddon, to AP, on his team's diminishing playoff chances: "We want to do a little of Minnesota Fats ... got to run the table."

• Steve Harvey of The Bottom Ten, on the Fiesta Bowl's campaign-financing scandal: "As punishment, the Fiesta Bowl will have to call itself the Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl for the next three years."

End game

Diva receiver Chad (don't call me Ochocinco) Johnson's stormy 41-day marriage to reality TV star Evelyn Lozada ended when a Florida judge signed their divorce papers, and veteran NFL watchers declared it a win-win.

She got half back, and he's a split end again.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com