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Originally published Sunday, September 16, 2012 at 5:45 PM

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This close shave wasn't what he was looking for

The most startling cut in NFL training camps this year? Kevin Gilbride's mustache. The New York Giants' offensive coordinator — who...

The Seattle Times

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The most startling cut in NFL training camps this year? Kevin Gilbride's mustache.

The New York Giants' offensive coordinator — who has worn a cookie duster for 39 of the past 41 years — accidentally mowed half of it off when he momentarily got distracted while shaving. So off it all came.

"It was just shocking," backup QB David Carr told The New York Times. "I think it's bigger than if it happened to Tom Selleck, honestly. It had been there so long you almost wondered, like, what's under there?"

S&P Q&A

From Fark.com:

Q: What do Matt Barkley and 1% of Google stock have in common?

A: Stanford owns both of them.

Must-see golf

"If I was U.S. Ryder Cup captain (I'm not), my first captain's pick would be Charles Barkley," wrote Scott Ostler of San Francisco Chronicle. "Then I'd pick John Daly.

"Hey, I want people to watch this thing. Sue me."

Just wondering

Can you have the best fantasy-football team on paper — or is that redundant?

Incoming

Fans sitting in $250 seats at the Broncos' season opener were wearing towels over their heads for protection from pigeons flying overhead.

On the bright side, though, at least the wide receivers don't lead Denver in drops.

Quote marks

• Chris Chase of USA Today, on the Cowboys having a security guard tail trouble-prone receiver Dez Bryant 24/7: "This may be a foolish decision Dez doesn't seem to have much trouble shedding one-on-one coverage."

• Tony Stewart, to the Chicago Sun-Times, on rival driver Jeff Gordon's vow to bring back his mustache if he makes the NASCAR Chase: "He's got to grow back the eyebrows, too. It was kind of a matching set."

• ABC's Jimmy Kimmel, after a poll revealed that 58 percent of Americans believe Barack Obama would beat Mitt Romney in a fistfight: "Make it a pay-per-view event. We could wipe out the national debt in one night."

Pineapple surprise

An army vet fishing for bass near Springfield, Mo., reeled in a sock with a live hand grenade in it.

It's already being hailed as the fastest catch-and-release in angling history.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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