What, Jared Allen jealous of teammate Adrian Peterson's physique?

"He is a manchild, dude; he's a manimal," the Vikings defensive end told ESPN, describing the All-Pro running back. "That dude's got muscles on top of muscles, and he eats like two quarts of Cold Stone (ice cream) a day. I eat one bite of pizza, I put 13 pounds on.

"It's ridiculous. This guy's got 2 percent bodyfat and is shredded, and I'm leaving my shirt on at the pool."

Receding, reseeding

Patriots receiver Wes Welker underwent a five-hour hair transplant on his receding hairline.

But don't expect to see new turf growing for about four months, warns George Toma.

Headlines

• At Fark.com: "Due to the sanctions, the last Penn State QB to lead the team to a winning record was Mike McQueary."

• At SportsPickle.com: "Power-mad NCAA levels Notre Dame for 'institutional arrogance.' "

Sports quiz

The formula for shooting the optimum free throw — a 52-degree launch angle, three revolutions per second of backspin and a bull's-eye of 2.8 inches beyond the center of the rim — was developed by:

a) Two North Carolina State researchers.

b) Foghorn Leghorn's nephew, with the help of a slide rule.

Get me rewrite

Adjusted marketing slogan, in the aftermath of the NCAA imposing a $60 million fine, four-year bowl ban and scholarship reductions: We Were Penn State.

Shear speculation

Yes, those Brits will bet on anything.

London Mayor Boris Johnson got his shaggy locks trimmed this week, and bookmaker William Hill immediately reduced its odds — of the Olympic torch setting Johnson's hair afire during Friday's opening ceremony — from 66-1 to 100-1.

Quote marks

• Ex-Red Barry Larkin, in his Hall of Fame induction speech, on pursuing baseball after Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler redshirted him: "Occasionally, I'd call him while I was playing in the big leagues and told him that was the best decision he made ... He didn't like that too much."

• British golfer Lee Westwood, to the Vancouver (B.C.) Sun, on why he's moving his family to Florida: "The English winters and the English summers."

• Former D-lineman Bob Lurtsema, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, no fan of ex-Vikings GM Mike Lynn, who died last week at 76: "I'd run through a wall for Jim Finks. For Mike Lynn, I'd run through him. That's the difference."

Tell it to

the back judge

Titans wideout Kenny Britt, who has had eight brushes with the law since 2009, would appear to have separation issues.

From cornerbacks, no. From cops, yes.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com