No need to replace these divots.

Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Charlie LeDuff needed 2,525 shots to golf 18 miles through his native Detroit, passing abandoned houses, deserted auto plants, crumbling landmarks and other signs of blight plaguing the economically ravaged city.

As he noted during his report for Detroit's WJBK-TV: "How many cities are so empty you can take a full-on swing?"

Paging Madison Ave.

Wouldn't Adam Dunn make the perfect celebrity endorser for a 401(k)?

Season's first tackle

It took three police officers to subdue Vikings running back Adrian Peterson after he allegedly became belligerent when asked to leave a Houston nightclub at closing.

Peterson has been charged with resisting arrest and impersonating a Cincinnati Bengal.

Plug your ears

The winner of last week's Short Fuse Award was:

• San Diego's July 4 fireworks show lasting only 15 seconds before a computer glitch blew up the entire arsenal.

• Brewers pitcher Zack Greinke getting ejected after throwing just four pitches.

Programming alert

"Erin Andrews has left ESPN," noted Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. "No word yet if this means the college football season is canceled."

Look out below

Rufus, Wimbledon's trained hawk that flies over the courts to keep pesky pigeons away, got kidnapped but was found in time to finish out the tournament.

Veteran Wimby watchers reported an immediate decrease in drop shots.

Paging Jimmy the Greek

Michael Johnson, the former Olympic gold-medal sprinter, made headlines last week when he said descendants of slaves make superior athletes.

CBS immediately tried to hire him just so it could fire him.

He's off the map

Hear about the college jock who flunked his geography final?

He thought Lapland was a private room at the local strip club.

Talking the talk

• Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch, after the minor-league Richmond Flying Squirrels got their storm-ravaged left-field wall replaced just in time for a Fourth of July sellout: "Rebuild it, and they will come."

• Yankees manager Joe Girardi, to The Associated Press, on the skill set of 20-year-old Angels outfielder Mike Trout: "Most guys don't hit triples down the left-field line."

• Chris Chase of Yahoo! Sports, after 30-somethings Roger Federer and Serena Williams triumphed at Wimbledon: "Thirty is the new No. 1."

• Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald, on LeBron James answering his critics: "If I'm in LeBron James' shoes, I'm going to have a hard time not putting that championship ring on my middle finger."

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com