Gold medals? Win some, lose some.

Two-time Olympic snowboarding champ Shaun White figures he has misplaced his medals "maybe three or four times" — once when his mother took them to the dry cleaner on a whim.

"And she didn't think this was absurd at all," he told Yahoo! Sports' Graham Bensinger, "and then we show up, it's like the hanger with the medal and the plastic. The only part that she was upset with is that (the bill) was a little over $5."

Paging Clark Kent

So why is Kurt Rambis no longer wearing his trademark horn-rimmed glasses — and every NBA player seemingly is?

Batting 1 for 3

It's been a tough PR year for the Mariners, too. Not only did they sit Dustin Ackley on Dustin Ackley Bobblehead Night, they demoted Alex Liddi to Class AAA Tacoma on the eve of Italian Heritage Night.

At least the M's left the concessions stands open on Fight Hunger Night.

Mr. Congeniality

Two contestants say the Miss USA 2012 pageant was fixed. The WBO is investigating its title-fight judging.

So can we just give Manny Pacquiao a tiara, and call it even?

Brief announcement

Danish soccer player Nicklas Bendtner celebrated his second goal in a UEFA match against Portugal by lifting his shirt and dropping his shorts far enough to reveal the name of an Irish gambling outfit across the top of his skivvies.

Could Bendtner be fined? You bet your bottom dollar.

Talko time

• Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson, to AP, on why he stayed on the job last Thursday instead of attending his son's high-school graduation: "You're supposed to graduate."

• E-mailer H.K., to ThatsSports.com, on the 16th hole at The Olympic Club, the longest in U.S. Open history: "670 yards? It takes the Browns' offense half a season to go that far."

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Knicks guard Jeremy Lin secured the trademark rights to the "Linsanity": "Anybody have the heart to tell Jeremy his 15 minutes are already up?"

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after an ESPN analyst said Heat guard Dwyane Wade needed to find his scoring touch: "First place I'd look is in James Harden's beard."

Bleeping for dollars

The town of Middleboro, Mass., passed an ordinance making swearing in public punishable by a $20 fine.

Balancing the budget will be a snap, city fathers say, just as soon as they can convince Ozzie Guillen to move there.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com