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Originally published Saturday, April 21, 2012 at 4:22 PM

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City motto: Razors? We don't need no stinkin' razors | Sideline Chatter

Reuben Droughns for Eugene Chamber of Commerce president! The former Oregon running back, responding to reports that 40-60 percent of the...

The Seattle Times

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Reuben Droughns for Eugene Chamber of Commerce president!

The former Oregon running back, responding to reports that 40-60 percent of the Ducks football team smokes marijuana, didn't seem all that shocked by it, given the university's 10-20.

"It's the weed capital of the world," he told ESPN The Magazine of Eugene. "Long dreads. Girls with hairy armpits. Where there's hippies, there's weed."

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Charlotte Bobcats still practicing for some reason."

• At SportsPickle.com: "Kryptonite found in Dwight Howard's back."

Just asking

Anyone else out there have Philip Humber in the perfect-game pool?

Brainstorm Bonanza

"Would love to host SNL and would donate pay to greenpeace," tweeted ex-slugger Jose Canseco. "Does anyone know how to contact Lorne Greene? Please help me make it happen! Hugs."

Can't be of any help with the TV gig, Jose, but Lorne was last seen with Hoss and Little Joe.

News flash

Those Secret Service agents snared in the Colombian sex scandal weren't out of work long.

Tiger Woods reportedly wants them to head up his security detail.

Going for the gold

U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn owed $1,705,437 in back taxes?

"Forget raising your child as a left-handed pitcher," wrote Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops (B.C.) Daily News. "Let's go skiing."

Golden oldies

West Vancouverites Olga Kotelko, 93, and Christa Bortignon, 75, accounted for 19 of Canada's 22 gold medals at the World Indoor Masters Championships in Finland.

As Kotelko praised Bortignon to the Vancouver Sun: "She is made for track and field. She just jumps like an elk."

All things Tebow

"Time Magazine named Tim Tebow one of its 100 most influential people," noted RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. "While they were at it, they changed their name to Tim Magazine."

Talko time

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, after some Redskins fans vowed to wear "RGIII" thongs to the team's draft-day festivities: "Here's hoping Washington's second pick is a cover corner."

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the Wells Fargo Open's claim to fame: "The only PGA tournament where the scorecard pens are kept on chains."

• TNT's Chris Webber, watching the Suns' 38-year-old Steve Nash take on the Jazz: "He needs a hot tub, time machine, Ben Gay and the energy of this crowd to get going."

Heads up, bidders

Jose Canseco's infamous Rangers cap — the size 7 ½ he wore on May 26, 1993, when Carlos Martinez's fly ball bounced off his noggin and over the fence for a home run — has been put up for bid by Heritage Auctions.

Retrofitted protective cup not included.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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