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Originally published April 14, 2012 at 12:57 PM | Page modified April 14, 2012 at 4:16 PM

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Who are you? Probably a Spice Girls fan

Bet they won't get fooled again. Bill Curbishley, manager for The Who, said London Olympic organizers contacted him to see if drummer Keith...

The Seattle Times

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Maybe they can get the lads from the Goon Show to warm up the crowd? MORE

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Bet they won't get fooled again.

Bill Curbishley, manager for The Who, said London Olympic organizers contacted him to see if drummer Keith Moon could play at their Aug. 12 closing ceremony. Just one problem: Moon died of a drug overdose in 1978.

"I e-mailed back saying Keith now resides in Golders Green crematorium, having lived up to the Who's anthemic line 'I hope I die before I get old,' " Curbishley told the London Sunday Times. "If they have a round table, some glasses and candles, we might contact him."

Petula Clark, we're guessing, is available.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Bankrupt Warren Sapp asks Buccaneers if he can live in pirate ship."

• At SportsPickle.com: "NHL playoff game shockingly ends in regulation."

Equal-opportunity pain

Back in the day, NFL players maimed you free of charge.

"We didn't play with bounties," Hall of Fame QB Fran Tarkenton told Chicago's ESPN Radio. "Dick Butkus didn't have bounties on anybody, or there wouldn't have been anybody to play because he would've killed them all."

Sprained Angle

Kurt Angle — former Olympic gold-medalist and current pro rassler — says his comeback plans for this summer's London Games have been foiled by a knee injury.

He insists he's not faking it.

Crunching Tiger

"Tiger Woods has become golf's version of a NASCAR Sprint Cup race," wrote Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops (B.C.) Daily News. "Everyone watches in anticipation of the wreck. And that was a big one in Augusta last weekend."

High cheese

Royals right fielder Jeff Francoeur bought 20 pizzas for the A's fans sitting in section 149 of the Oakland Coliseum on Wednesday.

Or to put it in baseball terms, he's slicing to right tonight.

Draft like Mike

The talent-challenged Charlotte Bobcats are 7-48 and lottery-bound again?

Or as Bobcats fans describe their fate on NBA draft day: Err Jordan.

Talko time

• Greg Connors of the Buffalo (N.Y.) News, after ex-Penn State president Graham Spanier — fired amid the Jerry Sandusky scandal — landed a job in national security: "Raise your hand if you feel safer."

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, on the L.A.-Vancouver NHL playoff series: "It's smog versus smug."

• Amateur golfer Randy Lewis, 54, to ESPN.com, after playing his very first round at Augusta National: "That's my all-time favorite 81."

• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, looking back on 1969: "Man walked on the moon, and the Mets won the World Series. To this day, only one of those events is considered a miracle."

School's out

Hockey's long-suffering Toronto Maple Leafs have finally been sold by the Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan.

If only the Leafs could get the rest of the NHL to stop schooling them.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com

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