In the news:
This gutsy maneuver wasn't par for the course
We've heard of getting busted in a speed trap before, but a sand trap? Clayton Baker, 40, was arrested after the Masters ended Sunday when...
The Seattle Times
We've heard of getting busted in a speed trap before, but a sand trap?
Clayton Baker, 40, was arrested after the Masters ended Sunday when he slipped under the ropes, tried to steal a cupful of souvenir sand and then made a run for it.
And in a related story, Augusta Police now refer to their handcuffs as bunker irons.
• At SportsPickle.com: "Contrite Ozzie Guillen clarifies Fidel Castro remarks: 'He never accomplished half of what Stalin did.' "
• At TheOnion.com: "Promising 9-pound bass to turn pro."
Sure sign that you live in a tough neighborhood: a Little League batter charges the mound — in a T-ball game.
Bubba Watson's tournament-winning shot out of the trees on the second playoff hole is destined to go down in Masters lore.
"The only differences between Bubba's shot and my game," pointed out blogger Vod Kanockers, "are my 40-yard hooks are never on purpose, and they are generally into, not out of, the woods."
Still the Boss
The Yankees got off to an 0-3 start this season — their worst since 1998.
Just for old times' sake, the ghost of George Steinbrenner tracked down the ghost of Billy Martin and fired him.
From Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press: "Which coach made a name for himself for fast-tracking young people?
"a) Kentucky's John Calipari, for NBA-bound players.
"b) Arkansas' Bobby Petrino, on his motorcycle."
• Celebration Church pastor Joe Champion, to AP, on why he invited Tim Tebow to address 15,000 worshippers on Easter Sunday: "In Christianity, it's the pope and Tebow right now. We didn't have enough room to handle the pope."
• NBC's Jay Leno, with bad news for Tebow: "Now there's rumors that the church has been talking to Peyton Manning."
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, affixing the blame for 49-year-old Jamie Moyer's 0-1 start with the Rockies: "The AARP magazine-cover jinx."
• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on scientists having no problem identifying the DNA that determines obesity risk: "They are shaped just like Reese's pieces."
Tough Love Dept.
Pundits say it's 99 percent positive that English rugby league chairman Richard Lewis is taking over as Wimbledon's new chief executive.
It's just that hitting leather tennis balls might take some getting used to.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org