This line needs to be sacked for good
And the winner is ... "Dial up a blitz. "
The Seattle Times
And the winner is ... "Dial up a blitz."
That nouveau football cliché beat out such stellar competition as "Take a shot down the field," "It depends on the spot" and "Shy of the first down" to capture the 26th annual Trite Trophy, as awarded by Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Gene Collier.
"Somewhere, somehow, defensive coordinators lost the ability to just call a blitz, order a blitz, signal a blitz, send in a blitz or even just blitz," Collier wrote. "They suddenly were forced to 'Dial up a blitz.' It's a beauty of a cliche, and it meets our ageless criteria: it's meaningless, it's everywhere, and I really, really hate it.
"It's got multiple malignancies, such as the matter of when you do dial, whom do you call? Second, who dials anything any more? I mean as of, like, 1990, my grandmother and the Yanomamo Tribe of deepest Venezuela were the only people that still had that technology."
Sports Quiz I
The box-office disaster "Nine" is based on an obscure:
a) Broadway play.
b) Baseball team in Pittsburgh.
Two for tee
Finally, some good news on the Tiger Woods front, courtesy of comedian Argus Hamilton:
• "The Postal Service just announced plans to honor Tiger Woods by putting his photograph on the overnight stamp."
• "Not all of Tiger's corporate sponsors have bailed out. Until an ugly mistress turns up, Lasik Eye Center is standing by him."
That's some rebound
"Jerry Jones predicts that 100,000 fans will show up for the NBA All-Star Game at Cowboys Stadium," noted Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. "Two-thirds of those fans are just hoping to see a Shaq free throw hit the video board."
Sports Quiz II
The "Cornhusker Kickback" is:
a) A controversial provision in the health-care reform bill.
b) Bo Pelini's bonus for making the Holiday Bowl.
Syndicated columnist Norman Chad has no problem with Nancy Lieberman coaching the Mavericks' NBA Developmental League affiliate.
"Why not?" he wrote. "Heck, if women ran the world, there would be less war and no BCS."
• Chargers defensive lineman Jacques Cesaire, to the San Diego Union-Tribune, on why the team invariably plays better in the season's last month than the first one: "Obviously, a lot of guys like Christmas. ... What do you really have to look forward to in September? The first day of school?"
• Headline at SportsPickle.com: "Shaquille O'Neal asks Lakers fans to throw food onto the court."
• Frank Caliendo of Fox's "NFL Sunday," on Tony Romo getting his job back as the Cowboys' holder on placekicks, nearly three years after his costly playoff fumble in Seattle: "While we're at it, why don't we give Matt Millen another crack at the front office?"
And here we thought the most startling Woods family golf news this year would be Tiger failing to win a major. Turns out it was Elin making a cut.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Sam and Sara Lucchese create handmade pasta out of their kitchen-garage adjacent to their Ballard home. Here, they illustrate the final steps in making pappardelle pasta.