He was driven to sell his boyhood baseball cards

Ya gotta know when to hold 'em in baseball cards, too.

Las Vegas attorney Bruce Shapiro, 46, rues the day he sold his massive boyhood collection at age 19 — just before the collectibles industry skyrocketed.

"I was able to buy a new 1980 Toyota Celica for about $10,000 with the cards I sold," he told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. "If I'd have waited, I might have been able to buy a Ferrari."

The Exercist

"Here's why Stan Van Gundy has become such a cult figure," wrote Dan Daly of the Washington Times of the Magic coach. "Because 99.9 percent of the guys in America have had a gym teacher who looked exactly like him.

"Every time I see the guy, I want to start doing jumping jacks."

Back to the

drawing board

If at first you don't succeed, tie, tie again — in Major League Soccer, anyway, where the L.A. Galaxy is 2-1-9.

Sports quiz

Contrary to her burgeoning legend, the sports résumé of Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor does not include:

a) Helping end the baseball work stoppage that wiped out the 1994 World Series.

b) Ruling against Maurice Clarett's early-entry bid in a landmark victory for the NFL players' union.

c) High-jumping 8 feet.

Ammo from heaven

Ken Pagano, pastor of the New Bethel Church in Louisville, Ky., is inviting his flock to bring their guns to church on June 27 to celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment.

Or as the AP headline put it: "Piece be with you."

No. 1 with a mullet

"Baseball being all wrapped up in stats the way it is," noted Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, "somebody should be able to tell us how many of Randy Johnson's 300 wins came in the post-mullet era."

Cold cash, please

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman says he has four buyers possibly willing to take on the bankrupt Coyotes and keep them in Phoenix.

Translation: Enron, AIG, Chrysler and General Motors.

Quote 'em

• Mine That Bird trainer Chip Woolley, to reporters covering the Belmont Stakes, on lasting impressions from his first visit to New York City: "Everyone here, apparently their horns work very well."

• Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times, after the schizo Lakers put it all together in a 100-75 shellacking of the Magic in Game 1 of the NBA Finals: "What a difference a gear makes."

Chris-crossed

Bills owner Ralph Wilson Jr. picked ESPN's nickname-loving Chris Berman to present him at this summer's Pro Football Hall of Fame induction ceremonies.

He might think it's clever now, but check back when he gets introduced as "Make Me Ralph" Wilson.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com