Could be a comedy of errors
"Overthrowing the government" is about to get a whole new meaning. "Just a warning to those sitting in the fifth row of Congress," advised...
The Seattle Times
"Overthrowing the government" is about to get a whole new meaning.
"Just a warning to those sitting in the fifth row of Congress," advised Drew Curtis of Fark.com. "Chuck Knoblauch will be testifying there soon."
Odor in the court
Lawyers for Barry Bonds have asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges against the slugger, claiming prosecutors' questions to him weren't "clear."
And did it with a straight face, we hear.
In a toe jam
This month's Black Knight ("It's Just A Flesh Wound") Award goes to Andrew Wells, who will likely have two toes amputated after running nearly 17 hours in sub-zero temperatures on the Ice Age Trail to win last weekend's 64-mile Frozen Otter Ultra Trek in Wisconsin.
As Wells, 27, told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel from his hospital bed: "There's nothing I can do about it now. I can live a good life without toes."
For his efforts, the Davenport, Iowa, resident won a gift package that included energy drinks, gel flasks, Moosejaw adventure gear and a subscription to Trail Runner magazine.
• At TheOnion.com: "Giants: 'We almost beat the Patriots once, we can almost beat them again.' "
• At SportsPickle.com: "Marginal prospect declares early for NFL draft, welfare."
Blame it on Jet lag
Why all the fuss over former Jets quarterback Joe Namath finally getting his college diploma 42 years after he last played for Alabama?
"Most college careers last eight semesters," pointed out Bob Connolly of the Bronx (N.Y.) Times-Reporter. "His lasted 10 terms. ... Of course, they were presidential terms."
• Comedian Lewis Black, to HBO's "Inside the NFL," on ubiquitous broadcaster Cris Collinsworth: "It's outta control. Sometimes he's on three channels at once. If I don't want to suffer through Terry Bradshaw, I don't watch Fox. If I don't want to listen to Cris Collinsworth, I have to move to Bolivia and become a nun."
• Cubs manager Lou Piniella, to the Chicago Daily Herald, fielding questions at last week's annual Cubs Convention: "You guys better hurry up and ask me quick, because one more Bloody Mary and you're not going to understand anything I say."
• Times reader Clint Wong, on Joe Gibbs' possible successor as coach of the Washington Redskins: "A Fassel could be replacing a fossil."
• Preston Williams of The Washington Post, on some high schools preferring to call their boys basketball team a "men's basketball team" instead: "Even if only three team members shave, four drive and none votes."
Her first Noelle
Noelle Pikus-Pace, the world skeleton champion, became a mother when 7-pound, 12-ounce Lacee Lynne Pace was born last Saturday.
No word on the baby's eyes, but skeleton enthusiasts say she certainly has her mother's bones.
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Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company
Seattle Times transportation reporter Mike Lindblom describes some of the factors that may have led to the collapse of the I-5 bridge over the Skagit River in Mount Vernon on Thursday, May 23.