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Originally published Sunday, March 9, 2014 at 4:30 AM

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State legislators waterfall all over themselves

The Wrap by Ron Judd


Seattle Times staff columnist

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Blame Joe Schmick, R-Colfax for not setting the kids straight: "After deciding... MORE
Snoqualmie Falls is like a tinkle compared to Dry Falls in its day, and Dry Falls is... MORE
eh... I really like Palouse falls. Anyway, some guy in a kayak made the highest... MORE

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Let it never be said that Your State Legislature failed to accomplish anything in between its most recent spate of free lunches and celebratory Boeing Tax-Exemption champagne brunch-athons.

Just last week, the people’s reps, responding as usual to a critical public need, designated an official state waterfall.

Only problem is, they picked the wrong one. Palouse Falls? Seriously?

We realize this bit of legislative daring was really only a PR exercise, as it began as a grade-school project in Washtucna. We also realize that, in the barren, desert wasteland that is Eastern Washington, any site of flowing liquid — including the brief, delicious puff o’ spray from a just-tapped can of Sprite — is cause for great public celebration.

But come on. Palouse Falls, at 198 feet, is a weak sibling of what should be the state’s official waterfall — duh — Snoqualmie, which pummels down a cliff 270 feet high.

Palouse? It's nice, but we’ve seen bigger waterfalls coming down off the roof of old Husky Stadium on a rainy November Saturday. If the governor signs the bill, an initiative to overturn this injustice is clearly in order.

Once again our state’s lonely eyes are turned to you, Gov. Non-Elect Tim Eyman.

More lunchbox lobbying:

On the Other Hand: We might be looking at this all wrong. Perhaps elementary-school students are a back door through the Legislature’s legendary dunderheadedness. What do you say, kids in Washtucna? Wanna do a study unit on functional, non-regressive tax structures?

Anyone Up For an Official State Windfall? Speaking of Boeing and the Legislature: What day do they celebrate Boeing Tax Freedom Day in Olympia? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday …

Thank You Sirs, May We Have Another? Surely everyone around Puget Sound was as joyful as Mr. Wrap to see that America’s grand-champion Corporate Welfare Queen, Boeing, formerly of Seattle, once again will receive a big, fat tax-refund check from the federal treasury. Anything we can do to make management genius Jim McNerney’s transition into opulent, seven-vacation-home retirement less stressful.

Reality Bites: Given the company’s shaky financial standing — $5 billion to $6 billion in annual profits the past several years — surely all you Boeing machinists, engineers and supervisors understand the critical need for the company to stick a knife in the belly of your traditional pension. It’s all about family, remember?

Given All the Above: Is it too late for the prize 1-percenter profiteers on Boeing’s board to reconsider that decision to take up so much space around here?

Hey, Good News: Former Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn, D-Ed Murray, has landed a new job: He’ll be heading up a new political consulting group specializing in transportation issues. Working title: Told You So, LLC.

One Thought on Russia, Crimea, and Sochi: Apparently there’s no Paralympic Truce.

This Week’s True Confession: It’s gone on long enough. Mr. Wrap invented Bitcoin. Let’s move on.

And Finally: To car people, the news that South Puget Sound Community College has been ordered by Chrysler to crush that classic, 600-horsepower Dodge Viper SRT is cruel and unusual punishment. Can’t one of you local do-gooder attorneys file for a stay of execution?

Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at rjudd@seattletimes.com or 206-464-8280.



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