In the news:
You Machinists have a lot of nerve.
Do you not see how your antiquated notions of “fair share” of massive profits threatens the indirect Boeing economy upon which we all rely? Surely your realize that every one of your jobs creates seven more for country-club economists who exist solely to remind the world of the value of those seven other jobs. Not to mention another 100 or so posts for lightly educated Twittereporters prone to making inept, Chicken Little comparisons between Puget Sound and Detroit.
All of us craning our necks skyward in this trickle-down barista economy are depending on you folks, and all you can think about is yourselves and the benefits to which you somehow feel “entitled” simply because you earned them through decades of sacrifice and hard bargaining? It makes a person wonder about your upbringing.
The sooner you greedy 777 line workers begin to lay back and enjoy your own subjugation like the rest of us, the freer the rest of us can pretend to be.
Stick that in your burn barrel and light it.
More Jet City Light and Dark:
Seriously, People: Can’t recall a more pathetic day here in the Corporate Welfare State than the morning after highly profitable, subsidized-to-the-hilt Boeing failed in its attempt to gut local employees’ hard-won benefits, and the union members who stood up to it became the target of the most scorn by local Schadenfreude-ians. Classy.
Might As Well Own It: Since similar recognition already has been granted to so many other groups, perhaps we might install a giant plastic no-lick cone of shame around the head of the Space Needle as a nod to our new civic mascot: the corporate lap dog.
Speaking of Licking: Free advice to Gov. Jay Inslee, D-McJobs: Next time you’re asked whether you “respect” the outcome of a democratically conducted contract vote by members of a local union, just say yes.
Which Reminds Us: Mr. Wrap is still waiting to hear back from Guv Jay about his request for massive personal tax breaks that might — might — keep him from having no other choice but to relocate to Idaho.
No Resemblance to That Remark: Seattle has been recognized as “the continent’s smartest city” by people at a business magazine who have never attempted to get from West Seattle to Ballard.
You Cannot Make This Stuff Up: Actual quote from the captain of ferry M.V. Hyak, in a report explaining the running over of a sailboat in the San Juan Islands on Sept. 13: “I looked over to check the Second Mate (helmsman) to ensure that she had followed my directions, and saw that she had hard right rudder on. I immediately, in a raised voice said, ‘Hard left rudder, you’re on hard right rudder!’ She responded, ‘Oh, you mean my other left.’ ”
And Finally: We hate to point this out to you guys running the tunnel-borer machine downtown, but you know that new sinkhole you’re describing as “small?” They all start out that way.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com or 206-464-8280.
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.