In the news:
It might have been the biggest news about a ferry since the most recent grounding of the M.V. Elwha.
People on board reportedly were transfixed as it played out. Grown, adult people got all misty later on, posting stories about it on Facebook.
And quicker than you could say “tooth fairy,” the “escort” by a pod of local orcas of a Washington state ferry transporting Native American artifacts from Seattle to Bainbridge Island became a regional phenomenon.
Even the occasionally skeptical Mr. Wrap got all verklempt over this one.
For a group of wild mammals to take time from their day to conduct what can only logically be interpreted as a protest over Washington State Ferries inexplicable failure to name one of its boats after Ivar Haglund ... well, that’s just something you don’t see every day.
Right back at ’ya, orca soul buds!
More fanciful fiction:
Quite the Shock: White House officials grimaced at the revelation that the government’s new health-care website signed up only six customers on its first day in business. Wait until they find out that four of them were named “Hugh Jass.”
Speaking of Which: President Obama, D-Sgt. Schultz, asked about criticisms from Congress of the notion that he had been unaware of problems with said website, said he was unaware of Congress.
In Case You Missed This: (And you probably did.) Washington State University officially struck mission-statement rock bottom Thursday, shutting down classes to free parking space for hordes of imaginary Cougar football fans for a 7:30 p.m. national-TV game. We can only hope they left a skeleton crew on hand. Cows don’t milk themselves.
Turnstile, Baby: Turnout for the weekday, late-night game was so lame — a Times reporter estimated the kickoff crowd in Martin Stadium at about 20,000 — that even Pac-12 Supreme Commandant Larry Scott conceded after the game that the conference might have gone too far in selling out to TV concerns in exchange for control over its own schedule. What possibly gave him that indication?
Well Deserved Rest: After traveling a remarkable 430 feet in three months, Bertha, the downtown tunnel-boring machine, will shut down for a week of rest and repair. This would be one of those times where a punch line would be just piling on.
Play Fall! To the tiny handful of his friends who profess to be sullen over the end of the ceaseless slog known as the baseball season, Mr. Wrap offers this helpful perspective: Just think of the few short months before spring training as one slightly longer-than-normal pitching change.
News You Can Abuse: More than one news organization, in the haste to report the news from Friday’s shooting incident at LAX, described an airport closure and “stalled flights.” Let’s hope not.
And Finally: A couple big thumbs up to Sally Jewell, the former CEO of REI, now running the Interior Department. Spreading some Seattle wisdom around D.C., she called on Congress to adopt a budget that keeps hands off budgets for access to public lands, which she said help drive local economies, “but also drive things that fill the soul and help define who we are as a nation.”
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com or 206-464-8280. On Twitter: @roncjudd.
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.